Fete Lifestyle Magazine December 2021 - Holiday Issue | Page 56

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Kimia Khalvati was born raised in Chicago. Her Persian and Irish roots add to the eclectic influence on lifestyle and career. Throughout her professional career as fitness training professional and health coach, she delivers a vast knowledge of sustainable living techniques. Catering to a multi-dimensional clientele base she believes in many platforms of growth. Kimia is now evolving as an actress now featured in the Netflix drama, BLACK AND PRIBILEGED. Every mind deserves different avenues of growth and longevity.

Photo Credit Mehrshad Rajabi

Persian Hospitality

By Kimia Khalvati

on’t ask

people

what they

want! Just give it to them!” I yelled at my sister from across the Thanksgiving dinner table. Almost ambushing her, I watched her face in utter shock attempting to be cordial by asking our guests if they preferred tea or coffee after dinner.

“No, Kristina, no! Why would you ask people what they want? Just give it to them.”

Relaxed and brash with my words I said, “Persian women don’t ask people what they want they just give it. All of it. You don’t wait until someone is hungry before you feed them!”

Admittedly, I’m programmed and predisposed to be obedient to the needs of others. It’s the way I was brought up, mostly by my Iranian father. My dad taught me this at a young age. I had gotten my dad water so many times upon his request by the time I was 15 he had conditioned me to bring it to him without even asking. By watching my Persian stepmother, I learned you just bring your father, husband, company or anyone food and refreshments before they ask. This is a form of etiquette I didn’t see in American homes growing up.

I recalled one time when my Persian father and I went to dinner, and I had ordered a cappuccino with my dessert. The dessert came out first and my dad was furious about the drink coming out afterwards. Without me saying a thing he told the server, she doesn’t want the coffee anymore, she wanted it with her dessert, and he then requested the server to remove the coffee. Anticipating a person’s wants and needs is a large part of Persian hospitality.

Another example of Persian tradition and hospitality is helping everyone in the kitchen. I noticed in my friends’ homes people ask, “do you need any help in the kitchen or can I do something for you?” Most of the time the host will say no thank you. Persian women don’t do this. They go right into the kitchen and make themselves useful without saying a word. As long as you insert yourself, you are useful. When you sit down or don’t do anything you are seen as rude and disrespectful. Staying present and aware that you were invited into someone else’s home shows your respect through action.

Whatever you’re taught you can become accustomed to, adjust to, then pass on as an extension of your roots. My sister didn’t grow up with my father, but in my own outburst of demands I knew she found what I said valuable as she entered the room again with an abundance of coffee and tea for our Thanksgiving guests to indulge. When we see the root of our traditions, we form an appreciation carried on through generations in the deliverance of pride.

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