any people refuse to forgive
believing that if they let go
of the pain, anger or
resentment, the person who harmed them will be absolved from the consequences of their actions. The irony in this belief is that it is the one holding on to negative emotions that suffers most. Forgiveness is a conscious decision to release yourself from suffering.
Forgiveness is a choice to let go of the past. The fact that you have already lived through trauma or painful experience is a testament to your perseverance and will to survive. You made it out alive and deserve to live life to the fullest. The experience in and of itself is enough. There is no need to hold on to any memory, emotions, or beliefs formed from the trauma. There is no value in reliving the experience over and over in your mind retraumatizing yourself with every replay. Compassion for self is freeing your mind from the past by focusing on the present and on what you can control.
Forgiveness is letting go of the need for the past to be different. Many people have been born into circumstances of trauma involving sexual, physical, and verbal abuse, abandonment, addiction, poverty, broken and chaotic families; including victims of racism and discrimination. Forgiveness is letting go of the idea that you could have or should have said or done something different to change the outcome. The truth is that you were born into these circumstances for your soul’s evolution. So instead of blaming yourself for being unworthy or inadequate, accept that this experience is a part of your soul’s journey. Having compassion for yourself is essential for healing because you accept that although you cannot change your birth or childhood story, you absolutely have the power to change your current story.
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