Photo Credit Kaylah Matthews
about the realization that perhaps the flawless student I believed myself to be was simply a persona I'd created. A persona that gave me the courage I lacked to leave home and start on my own.
At 18, I started my freshman year at Northwestern, 1200 miles from my family. I charged ahead with the enthusiasm that Persona afforded me, but deep down, I was filled with self-doubt. My four years there were challenging and successful academically, too, and I was happy at NU.
But during those years at school, whenever I'd find myself struggling a bit in class, I remember scolding myself: You're a straight-A student! You can do this! That mantra was enough to get me back on track. Drawing on that core 'truth' of perfection has driven me throughout my life.
So as I sat on that porch drinking wine with Mom in the heat of a Florida evening, I let the reality of my past wash over me, and I wondered: If I was wrong about being perfect, what else am I wrong about? How else has this Persona of Perfection clouded who I could be?
These questions followed me home to Chicago, where I have pondered them for weeks.
I began my personal myth-busting exercise with the belief that I am always just a little late. I think this one came from being in a long relationship with someone who had a 'loose relationship with time,' and somehow I never recovered from this selfish habit. It's always bothered my incredible, adorably punctual husband (whom I met when I accidentally arrived EARLY for an event he was also attending, hello, karma). So, I decided this, too, could be a fallacy.