ontributors
C
Kimia Khalvati was born raised in Chicago. Her Persian and Irish roots add to the eclectic influence on lifestyle and career. Throughout her professional career as fitness training professional and health coach, she delivers a vast knowledge of sustainable living techniques. Catering to a multi-dimensional clientele base she believes in many platforms of growth. Kimia is now evolving as an actress now featured in the Netflix drama, BLACK AND PRIBILEGED. Every mind deserves different avenues of growth and longevity.
You can see how this helps you gain a more differentiated view on emotions, which is important when managing them - for example, nervousness requires a different response than panic. And, no emotion is negative. They all serve a purpose. What you do with them matters. If you fight and ignore them, you miss out on the important signaling function. This is an invitation to get curious about your emotions.
Anger, for example, signals that there is an obstacle in your way, that your boundaries have been violated, that you are being attacked. Anger has incredible energy. Have you ever been patronized at work, felt angry and then channeled that anger into hard work to prove that person wrong - and succeeded? A client who viewed her anger as very negative and suppressed it realized that that prevented her from noticing when her boundaries were being violated and from responding to that violation. Once she changed her perspective, she was able to learn to speak up assertively and push back.
Without fear you might have walked in front of a car or touched something dangerous. Fear also shows that something is high stakes and to proceed with caution, and that we care. Is that negative? And think about a roller coaster or a scary movie. You voluntarily do those things and likely enjoy the scary feelings.
Grief helps us go inward and rearrange the mental maps without that person, pet, or situation present. Is that negative? It is necessary, and suppression of this process can lead to depression.
Disgust protects us from eating something bad, engaging in behavior that might not serve us, and generally has a protective function for species survival and social functioning.
This does not deny that in some cases emotions can become so distressing and overwhelming that people experience anxiety, panic attacks, anger management issues, and other concerns that might require professional help. A perspective shift is still helpful.
The next step is to learn tools and skills to deal especially with intense unpleasant emotions, because those are the most difficult ones. I will introduce cognitive and somatic tools over the next few editions of FLM magazine, so stay tuned. Check out my video about this powerful perspective shift, start by labeling emotions pleasant / unpleasant / neutral and low / high intensity, and ask yourself what that emotion is communicating. That alone will make a difference.
Photo Credit Gary Butterfield