I don’t look like the face of domestic abuse. In fact, the emotional and psychological abuse was so insidious, it even took me years to realize that it was happening.
Know that when someone tells you what’s going on you’re not getting nearly the whole picture. It’s too difficult to explain. That family is in survival mode: just trying to be normal, to do normal things, and trying to be happy despite the abuse. Domestic violence is about power and control, whether it’s physical abuse, psychological abuse, or emotional abuse. Physical abuse is the tip of the iceberg and sets the course for the emotional and psychological trauma that will last a long time.
For me, what started as stonewalling became constant manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional abuse of my children. It was all designed to keep me off balance and in constant fear that he might take away my rights to parent my child.
He went after my children to hurt me, knowing I would try to protect them.