Fete Lifestyle Magazine April 2022 - Fashion Issue | Page 51

s a Psychologist, I

often find that people

believe whatever their

mind tells them, even when their thoughts are not supporting their mental health. People often entertain thoughts that criticize them, lie to them, discourage them, talk them out of a good opportunity, and sometimes have them believe their life has no meaning. Our thoughts are so powerful that they become our beliefs, they create our feelings and direct our actions. I believe all of us sometimes fall prey to the critical narrative that plays over in our head, especially during times when we make bad choices or make mistakes that end up disappointing or hurting ourselves or others. The majority of people believe that just because they have a thought, it must be true. Wrong!

The thoughts we think are merely suggestions, they are not truths. A lot of people never question the validity of their thoughts. Many people don't even realize they have a choice in the thoughts they pay attention to or consider. Our thoughts can originate from

within our mind as well as

outside of our conscious awareness. I like to describe thoughts like the air we breathe. Even when we can't see it or realize that we are breathing the air, it exists. Thoughts and ideas exist even when we are not aware of them. But once they come into our conscious awareness, now we have the choice to be selective about the thoughts we allow into our mental space. Said another way, we are choosing the thoughts we want to focus our attention and energy on. And the thoughts that we habitually entertain become what we believe.

Much of what we believe about ourselves, our world and our relationships to others, didn't

even come from us. As babies we have an innate lovableness, we exude confidence, and we explore the world around us without fear. Our human programming begins at this time because we are fed messages from those who raise us, teach us, surround us, entertain us, and care for us. And this messaging becomes our beliefs. Unfortunately, many of us have not been fed healthy messages about ourselves, how we should feel about ourselves, what we should think about the world, and how we should interact with people. Especially in our societal programming, most of us learn to believe that we are not good enough, not worthy, or somehow not deserving of good experiences or wealth. And this is how the lie begins...