all gathered I started to laugh , really laugh . I said , “ That ’ s your preference , but sometimes we have our minds made up about what we don ’ t want and we miss the blessing that the Lord has for us . I ’ m a plus size woman working to be healthy , not a size 10 or 6 or 4 to please some man . I ’ m happy , blessed and beautiful .”
That elderly man got out of there as fast as his walker could carry him . Those lovely ladies admonished me not to pay him any mind , I was beautiful and by the way had I lost weight ? Bolstered by their acceptance I confided that I had but I wasn ’ t going tell that old man that since it didn ’ t matter to him , I ’ d lost weight but I still wasn ’ t good enough in his eyes . I ’ ve wrestled with the demons of eating disorders and I refuse to resurrect a dead thing striving to fit into some unattainable box .
I knew then that I was finally at peace with myself . I had passed the test and seen myself as Christ did , fearfully and wonderfully made . I came to understand that there will always be people I ’ m not good enough for because of their issues , but I ’ m always good enough for
Christ . I understand now , like I never have before , that Jesus loves me just as I am regardless of how people see me – as being a big girl , a chubby chick , a hot thick girl ( is what my husband says ) the truth is , my weight and what others think about it does not define who I am .
Maybe it ’ s true that there have been men who have not chosen me because of the pounds , but if so , were they God ’ s best for me if they made their choice on such shallow requirements ? I deserve God ’ s best , as do all men and women , fat , skinny , with acne , braces , big lips , dark skin , light skin , short , tall , poor or rich . I ’ m finally at peace and being at peace gives me the courage to change , not so I can please other people , but change because it is what ’ s best for my life , ministry , health , and my relationship with my Lord .
I will praise thee , for I am fearfully and wonderfully made , marvelous are thy works ; and that my soul knoweth right well . Psalm 139 Verse 14 ( King James Version )
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Old Men Are Not Always Wise Dr . Naima Johnston Bush The Refreshing Life of Naima www . ministryofnaima . com 937-367-4303 naima @ ministryofnaima . com