asking God why he let
this happen to me. I
thought to myself that
I was a good person,
I looked after people
and never did any-
thing wrong to anoth-
er – yet I felt somehow
I was being punished.
Over time I realised
that how I was treated
in my relationship was
not God’s fault, nor
my own - but Tyler’s
entirely, and he was
the one that would
have to live with what
he did.
going outside more
and tried to kick the
negative thoughts in
my mind – life began
happening again. At
this point, I did not
know what my life was
going to become, but
I put my trust in God
that things would get
better if I allowed it to.
I went through
a long
pe- on the couch in pain
from the cyst, I found
myself playing a quiz
application on my
phone. As time passed,
I had a message appear
from a boy called Jack-
son*; I had just played
a quiz with and nearly
beat. We continued
talking for the next
month – some-
times up
to
ri-
od of
sickness and
was diagnosed with
a large ovarian cyst,
pressing on my right
ovary and causing
pain. I felt defeated
when I kept visiting
Doctors and having
ultrasounds but in
the midst of this pain,
God had something
greater planned for
me than I could have
anticipated. five
hours
talking and
laughing on the
phone. Soon, I found
myself catching a
plane and travelling
over nine hundred
kilometers to meet
Jackson. I struggled at
first letting my guard
down and pushing
away the fears I held in
my mind from Ty-
ler. As I told Jackson
more about the fears I
held for future rela-
tionships, this led me
closer to Jackson, as he
M
y Mum, who
although
didn’t know about
the abuse, saw that
I was depressed
and came into my
bedroom one morn-
ing and confronted
me about it. She saw
that my life was re-
volving around either
work or sleeping and
encouraged me to try
to get out of the rut
I was in. When my
Mum left the room
after our talk, I real-
ised that I was living
my life as a victim
and had imprisoned
myself in the past
due to my bitterness.
I knew that if my life
was going to get better,
I had to start living as
a survivor and fight
for my life again. As
time passed and I
began sleeping less,
page 28
O
ne early morning
as I was lying
supported and encour-
aged me. For the first
time in a long time – I
felt genuinely loved,
supported and valued.
As time passed he
encouraged me to tell
my Mum about what I
had experienced in my
last relationship and
with his support, I did.
Telling my Mum what
happened was one of
the hardest things I
have ever done. Yet, as
I began confiding in
her, I felt a weight fall
off of my shoulders
almost immediately.
For the first time,
my Mum knew
exactly what I went
through and why I
had become so de-
pressed. Part of me
wished I had told her
a long time ago, but
I was glad that I told
her and didn’t keep it
inside forever.
T
wo years have
passed now since
the relationship with
Tyler ended and when
I was at rock bottom
in my life. During that
time, my life has truly
changed. I moved
to another state to
be closer to Jackson;
changed jobs and am
trying every day to
push myself to live life
without the fear that
once crippled me. I
know that what hap-
pened during those