Femme Plus January 2017 | Page 20

to

5

practical ways

by anastasia amour

t feels awful, but it's something that most of us have experienced. And yet despite knowing how awful it feels, it's something that most of us have done to other women too.

So why do we do it? Two little words:

Body Insecurity.

When we feel insecure about ourselves in any capacity, if we’re not ready to fully confront those feelings and aren’t sure how to deal with them (or, worse, feel completely paralyzed by them), we often project that out into the world and all over other people instead.

One thing's for sure: Judging other women's bodies is a sure-fire way to make you feel even more inferior, unhappy and insecure than you did before you made the judgement. And, unfortunately in female culture, jealousy and insecurity not only runs rampant — it’s deemed socially acceptable. We're expected to be in competition with each other and our judgement only reinforces that idea. It's bad for us on an individual, as well as a collective scale.

If you’ve ever:

•Found yourself scrolling through Instagram and paused longer than usual to examine the figure in someone’s selfie while thinking, “Gosh, I wish I had her body. I hate her!”; or

•Started hating the new girl at work even though she’s perfectly lovely, intelligent, competent and makes your job easier — purely because she’s got a bangin’ bod; or

•Caught yourself internally shaming and judging other women (in magazines, on TV and even your life) by making assumptions about their diets, lifestyles and sex lives based on their appearance; or

•Felt yourself giving other women the up-and-down, head-to-toe stare of disapproval as you walk past them on the street;

… those are all prime examples of body insecurity in action.

"I understand all of that! And I want to be a good person, and I'm aware that judging others isn't helpful... but I still find myself judging, no matter how hard I try. What's up with that?"

First up, don't beat yourself up too much. Making judgements is a part of human nature. It's a skill that helps us to avoid danger and keep ourselves safe... but when those judgements become needlessly

Have you ever been on the receiving end of a look from another woman that made you feel so judged, so small and so insecure? Or maybe someone in your life has made a comment about your appearance designed to minimize, dismiss or belittle you?

stop judging

I