Feel the Joy Magazine Winter 2020 - Page 13

Scott & Bethany Palmer , The Money Couple , are love & money experts , authors , speakers , each have 20 years of financial advising experience .
Together , they help couples solve money issues in their relationship . Grab a copy of The 5 Money Personalities : Speaking the Same Love and Money
Language , and take the FREE online Money Personality Assessment .
it ’ s a slow build of physical problems , like headaches ."
So other than the obvious – it ’ s wrong – for your health , stop lying to your spouse about your money .
The best day to tell them about the deceit would have been immediately , BUT the next best day is today .
Don ’ t wait . For your health and the health of your marriage .
Worrying about your current and future financial situation adversely affects your health .
Experts list money stressors as “ chronic stress ” which activates the fight-or-flight response system at a very high level , which damages the body .
Nancy Molitor , PhD , a clinical psychologist and Assistant Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Health at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine says about money worries , “ It ’ s a kind of never-ending , seemingly endless loop of problems that gets created if the person doesn ’ t deal with the dilemma ,” she says . That type of prolonged chronic stress response is associated with developing problems , like obesity , type 2 diabetes , stomach ulcers and cardiac problems .
Do what you can do for your finances and then move on . Stop the chronic stress .
Get involved with your money . Don ’ t set bills aside . Don ’ t put off sharing the realities with your spouse . Don ’ t wait to start investing at least a little .
Make a plan together to push the boulder up the hill . Two rowers in a boat race beat the solo rower every time .
Most people don ’ t feel they have enough saved for retirement and few people high-five you on a daily basis to tell you that their stocks are performing exactly as they anticipated . A lot of that is out of your control .
Work on what you can affect and go to sleep to rest and replenish knowing , today , you did your best .
In contrast to Point # 1 , this stressor identifies the potential for regular tension , bickering , or shaming about money . That daily icky rain cloud dripping overhead .
Does this sound like your house ?
• Are you critical of every penny spent ? Is your spouse ?
• Did your spouse make a financial mistake in the past that you tend to bring up whenever possible ?
• Do you nag your spouse about saving and coupons ?
• Are you distrustful of your spouse but you handle it passive aggressively ?
• Does every conversation somehow wind up being about money ?
• How often do you grumble about the money you don ’ t have ?
• When your spouse wants something nice do you support or shame them ?
• If you set a budget do you respect it ?
• Do you place a priority on making memories or are the activities viewed as expensive , so they don ’ t happen ?
We all approach money differently . In fact , every individual has a unique bent towards handling money . And even how money makes them feel .
Our research shows about 70 % of the time individuals marry someone who approaches money differently than they do which offers the opportunity for understanding and growth or … a lot of tension and fights .
That chronic tension is unhealthy . It eats away at your mental and physical health and the strength of your marriage . Imagine if a quarterback and his receivers spent every day disagreeing about the plan for success .
Identify how you deal with money and then use those strengths to your advantage , make a plan and work it , and then let the chips fall where they may .
Don ’ t let money get the better of you . It ’ s not worth it .
Identify your Money Personality for FREE with The Money Couple ’ s online , scientific Money Personality Assessment at TheMoneyCouple . com .