www . newellstrength . com www . unlockingyourinnerstrength . com Fast forward a few years . I was now in college . I hated the first semester . I was homesick as hell . But I knew it was just another transition in life and that life was but a series of deaths . Once one period died off , there was no going back .
And like the blink of an eye , I found myself giving my farewell senior speech to my fraternity . Yup , you guessed it , I cried , uncontrollably . It went by way to fast and I fell in love with that place .
I remember having a pizza date with Leo ( my grandfather ) that first fall out of college , being incredibly depressed because I couldn ’ t figure out the purpose of life on earth . He always gave me his ear to listen to my philosophical questions . Life continued to move forward .
I entered the bodybuilding world . I think back to how much I learned about my will during that time . I pushed my body and mind further than I even knew was possible . It wasn ’ t the contests that were special to me , it was celebrating with my friends and family . It was the journey of self-realization . I went back to the well a few years ago to share the experience with Devon . Those contests will always hold special memories in my heart . That was a part of becoming who I AM .
I can transport myself to the day that I proposed to Devon on the river bank just a mile from where we now live . I was shaking like a leaf in the wind , so scared of that next phase of my life . Yup , I cried and could hardly get the words out of my mouth , ‘ Will you marry me ?’
Thank God she said yes ! I remember fighting back the tears at our wedding . I wanted to cry so badly because I was so happy but I didn ’ t . I wanted to cry when I was dancing with my mom because of nostalgia but I didn ’ t . I should have .
I remember when my brother Shane asked me to speak at his wedding ( I guess what he really asked me was to be the best man lol ). I don ’ t even remember what I said , but I remember FEELING what I said . It wasn ’ t a humorous speech ; it was one of emotion . We were no longer boys growing up , we were now men , all of us going our own ways . Yup , cried uncontrollably again .
I teleport myself to when I ruptured both patellar tendons , 2 and half years apart . Man , that first time around was one of despair . I had no reference point . I had no one to ask advice of . I was down and out and then I fought back . I allowed myself to feel self-pity for 2 days and then I was onto one of the greatest self-discovery lessons of my life . With the help of Devon , I overcame the self-doubt of wondering if my leg would ever be normal again . Then , as noted above , I competed . Yes , it was to share the moment with Devon , but it was also so signify putting that horrific injury in the past , putting it in the graveyard even though there were many silver linings to it .
And then , 2 years later , it happened again , the exact same damn injury , this time with Devon at my basketball game in attendance . Yes , the physical pain was off the charts but I could deal with that . We turned down away the ambulance at that YMCA on that fall night . I knew what it was . Devon knew what it was . I remember making it up to the bedroom that night , stopping off at the hallway bathroom . I was hoping Devon was out of ear shot because I looked myself in the mirror and yes , I cried again . I couldn ’ t go through that again . It wasn ’ t fair . She heard me , she came to my rescue once again .