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Devon was pumped but by mid-week she was getting cold feet . I knew our ‘ why ’ though . I asked her or more like told her , ‘ It ’ s the property and the setting that we want . Are you willing to give that up ? Because we will not find that again in Hillsborough .’
Bam ! That hit her right between the eyes . She knew our why too . We didn ’ t know the what , being what the house would look like or where it would be . And if we hadn ’ t known our why and we were looking for a ‘ what ’, we would not have bought the house .
Our ‘ why ’ was a blissful , zen-like setting that we could live and raise a family in . It could have been a shack for all I cared ( actually , we pretty much stayed in a shack out in Idaho , it was 800 square feet !).
A true ‘ why ’ will always guide you due north on your compass . Still not convinced to the important of your ‘ why ’? One more story from my past for ya then .
The year before I had met Devon , I was out in California for 5 weeks . I had originally planned the visit because I was going to be interning and helping out at UC-Irvine ( with their strength and conditioning program ). And as luck ( good luck seems to find me , coincidence ?) would have it , one of my first personal training clients had told me her aunt lived out there and was looking for a house sitter for about 5 weeks while she traveled for the summer .
I jumped at the chance .
But , at the time of my departure , I had been dating a girl that I was really into . On my first day out there , I got dumped , once again .
Why do I say once again ?
Because it was this vicious pattern I was in . I would date these girls that had too much drama : broken homes , coming off a rebound and looking for the ‘ bad-boy ’. At the time , I knew what I was looking for .
I was looking for a girl that I could rescue . And of course , I knew what physically attracted me ( dark hair , dark eyes ).
I wasn ’ t looking for my ‘ why ’ when it came to a relationship . I was only trying to feel a void of loneliness . That ’ s when I took out my trusty notebook and proceeded to write down every quality I wanted in a partner . And all of those reasons were qualities I admired that would enhance me as a person , not just a one-way street like I had been seeking .
I no longer needed the ‘ what ’. I knew my ‘ why ’ when it came to a relationship would find me . My why was not to save someone but to enhance another person ’ s spirit , just as they would mine .