FANFARE July 2016 | Page 5

NEWSROUND
Apps can track every move you make , and Wikimedia has ruled that macaques own the copyright to selfies they took . How afraid should we be ? Soma Taheir reports
Forget the Statue of Liberty half-buried on that sandy beach . For never in their wildest dreams did Charlton Heston ’ s scriptwriters imagine life on the real Planet of the Apps .
Welcome to Cyberworld Earth . Just when you thought it was safe to return home from the Apps Store , Sophie clicks into life and reminds you it ’ s time to take your medication .
She ’ s already on your smartphone and she knows you ’ re one of the seven million Britons who are left feeling depressed after using social media . How does “ she ” know ? Because you told her , after downloading her from your favourite apps store .
Sophie ’ s one of dozens of the latest avatar apps designed to be your personal virtual nurse , and remind you to take your Prozac pill , and who ’ ll even ask if you ’ re in pain . And if you are , she ’ ll advise your GP – just to be on the safe side .
Sounds like the latest hare-brained Hollywood script ? Nope ! It ’ s just the facts , ma ’ am . And all based on the latest , pukka research by Privilege Home Insurance , the kind of nice folk who ’ ll insure your life , even if you top yourself ?
In PHI ’ s survey of more than 2,000 Brits , 20 % of people belonging to networks like Facebook and Twitter said they suffered from FOMO – Fear of Missing Out . More than one in three said they felt under pressure to “ like ” content posted by friends , and one in 10 admitted being embarrassed if something they posted didn ’ t get a response .
It ’ s no wonder a third of young Britons are experiencing anxiety at some stage in their life , said Will Hutton in the Observer . “ Teenagers – in particular – fearful of missing out , are beset by a myriad of agonising choices .”
Soon , we ’ ll all be to chat to the virtual assistants like Sophie , as the hi-tech behemoths of Silicon Valley perfect apps that have AI - artificial intelligence . Software engineers behind the likes of Apple ’ s Siri , Amazon ’ s Alexa and Microsoft ’ s Cortana are pushing the boundaries of AI tools . “ A new crop of virtual assistants will flood the market , ambitious bots that can interact seamlessly with human beings ,” reported Elizabeth Dwoskin , the Independent ’ s technology specialist .
“ This wave of technology is distinguished by the ability to chat , making AI conversation feel natural . Amazon ’ s Alexa has humanising ‘ hmm ’ s and ‘ ums ’ built into responses . Apple ’ s Siri is known for wry jokes .”
But an app joke was lost on wildlife photographer David Slater after Wikimedia used photos of macaques taken on his camera in Indonesia without permission . “ Because the monkey pressed the trigger , they ’ re claiming the monkey owns the copyright ”, said a baffled Slater .
And as if that wasn ’ t enough , Facebook is planning to replace customer-service lines with a new generation of AI chatbots . They will , Mark Zuckerberg told the F8 developer shindig , at San Francisco ’ s Fort
Mason , “ kill off rival apps ”. Whoah ! What next , robot sex bots ?
Well , yes , if the findings of research at Stanford University are implemented . Volunteer subjects were invited to respond to a sexbot ’ s request “ please touch my bum ”. After hesitating to invade the robot ’ s privacy , most complied and reported increased levels of arousal while doing so .
Welcome to the planet that ’ s being taken over by the apps ! Be very afraid ! Unless you ’ re one of those people who The Sun described as “ randy , human , looking for hassle-free love ”.
The average Briton spends 80 minutes every day managing an average of four social media networks , reported Sonia Sodha in the Observer . “ And of that , an amazing 85 % of online adults , excluding China , have one of Facebook ’ s four services ( plus Instagram , Messenger , Whatsapp )”.
No wonder the Pope himself felt compelled to warn teenagers to stop looking for the good life on their phones . “ Happiness is not an application you can download ,” said the Pontiff .