OP-ED
My 2 cents on...
Being A First-Time
Father, Overseas
By Desmond Foo
In this exclusive series,
our guest columnistsparents weigh in on the
issues that are closest
to their hearts. This
month, one soon-to-be
father reveals what it’s
like to take care of a
pregnant wife in a foreign
country and the future
repercussions.
I’m a loving husband to a Singaporean
expatriate wife. We are currently
based in Suzhou, China after my wife
accepted an overseas job posting about
a year back. While she makes the
world a stickier place to live in during
the day (she works with a self-adhesive
tape company), I stay at home, working
remotely in my pyjamas for my
Singaporean firm back home.
A few months back, my wife found out
she was pregnant with our first child.
Of course, there was much rejoicing in
both our families.
But, once we finished the celebrations,
reality started to seep in. First of all,
we were alone in Suzhou. Our relatives
(and honorary babysitters) were more
than 4,000 kilometres away and we had
to traverse the pitfalls of pregnancy
alone. Of course, some would say
our parents were just a Skype call
or e-mail away but nothing beats the
personal touch of having your Mum’s
comfortingly nagging voice telling you
what to do; in most cases, what not to.
the person is fit or well enough again
to work.
Secondly, the medical facilities here
are not as good as Singapore. Many
times during my wife’s ultrasound
sessions, I’m not sure whether the
doctor is scanning my wife’s belly for
signs of life or checking it for possible
ticking parts i.e. a bomb. Sometimes,
I’m not even sure whether the person
is a certified gynaecologist.
That’s why you hear all the horror
stories of errant drivers backing
their vehicles again into the person
they accidentally banged into, just to
ensure the nails of the victim’s coffin
are hammered in. If not, the driver
stands to lose a big fortune sustaining
the injured person’s route to recovery.
Raising a kid in China is also very
different from rearing him or her in
Singapore. At the moment, our plan
is to stay in Suzhou until my wife
completes her posting (which is for
three years). That means our child
will be exposed to China’s extremely
hazardous quality of air for about two
years and we’re worried how it might
affect his or her health.
The lack of social graces and hygiene
here is also quite alarming. The
Chinese enjoy making ghastly noises
in public to muster all the phlegm
they’ve got to launch nasty, sticky
goo projectiles. We’ve also witnessed
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