Family & Life Magazine Issue 11 | Page 10

FOCUS Medical P wer Couple The We hear of power couples all the time; Hollywood’s Brangelina, the all-powerful Barack and Michelle Obama, our very own Fann Wong and Christopher Lee. Now, meet the medical power couple of Singapore. By Neu Weetee What does being a successful couple truly mean? Not just successful in the practical sense – being wealthy, holding fulfilling jobs or living in an expensive house – but in all other less tangible aspects like balancing work and personal life, keeping the flame of romance alive, raising children effectively, and most importantly, staying happy. We have a healthy mutual respect for each other. However, I’m still a bit traditional and would rather go for someone whom I could trust and respect to lead the house.” Power couple Dr Karen Soh, newly appointed President of the Association of Women Doctors and aesthetics specialist, and Dr Siow Hua Ming, a medical director who majors in sports and orthopaedics, is the perfect example of such a successful couple. Interestingly, Karen and Siow initially only wanted three kids. However, Karen somehow got pregnant in spite of the presence of an intrauterine device within her. Seeing it as God’s grace, they worked hard to make sure that they could support four children, financially, socially and academically, especially in a competitive environment like Singapore. TWO BECOME ONE Young people in this era seldom settle down with their first serious sweetheart but not so long ago, that was the case for Dr Soh and Dr Siow. They got engaged soon after meeting, barely a year into dating. If you want your children to be independent and fully functioning, you by the same extension cannot be beholden to them in the sense that you exist because of your children. 10 Family & Life • Aug 2014 Dr Siow explains with a laugh that the relationship progressed swiftly after the both of them realised how compatible they were; they shared similar interests and beliefs. Dr Siow was attracted to Karen’s grounded character. As for Karen, she was looking for a man with strong values to lead the household and the serious Dr Siow ticked all the boxes on her checklist. Four children and more than a decade of marriage later, Karen still gushes about her husband. STARTING A FAMILY Karen worked around her demanding schedule, squeezing all her patients into a small window so that her children were not neglected. Karen proudly summarises her parenting, which sees her packing lunch boxes, checking homework and setting schedules with the family drivers despite her demanding work hours. “I’m a full-time doctor and a full-time mother.” “As a woman, I think it’s important to marry up in terms of these characters. He is supposed to be the head of the household and if I’m the best person in the house, that’s not good!” says Dr Soh. The duo has strong views about Singapore’s education system and its leanings towards parentocracy, whereby a child’s education is influenced more by the parents’ wealth and social status rather that the child’s ability. “It’s not a good thing. A bright kid who is not given the support that we give to our children will find it hard to beat an average kid with the right support system,” Karen says. “Don’t mistake it for a dominantsubmissive kind of relationship though. That’s why Siow sincerely believes in the concept of stay-home mothers. He says that this very traditional concept has benefits in terms of the discipline and learning of the child, because there’s always someone there. He reminisces that full-time mothers were a common thing in the past but due to the rising cost of living in Singapore, it is quickly becoming much harder to be one. Even so, he realises that families who have made the conscious decision to survive on a single breadwinner with one full-time housekeeper are the ones with the most optimum studying environment. In fact, he finds that the children in these families do better than those with tuition! ON SINGAPORE’S EDUCATION SYSTEM On the subject of the system, Siow reckons that Singaporean children today are far too stressed. “I find that when I was growing up, I had enough time in primary school to enjoy myself, to be a kid. PSLE wasn’t a make-orbreak exam. The rest of my generation was like that as well,” he says. He adds that while Singapore education system seems to have been improved with more and more components over the years, students definitely experience more stress nowadays. Dr Siow admits that he applies more pressure on his children than what his mother used to give him, and he explains that this is because of the compulsory CCAs, piling project work and the generally tough curriculum. Karen feels sensibly that school hours should be changed because she understands the genetics and wiring of many children who tend to be more active at night. To her, starting an hour or two later than the normal