Family and Faith Magazine June-July 2015 | Page 28

#Obedience
WHAT STRATEGIES DO YOU USE TO GET YOUR CHILDREN TO OBEY?

The Bible's instruction is clear - “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord” (Col 3:20 NIV).
Yet over the course of about 18 years, parents oftentimes struggle to raise obedient kids.Family and Faith Magazine
therefore asked mothers and fathers about their tried and true strategies for getting children to obey.

ADRIAN
» single father a
7 year old boy

The strap! Actually, honestly,
the strap is usually the
last thing. I usually do
punishment in terms of
taking away privileges and
the strap is absolute last and
is for something that is really
deserving of it. Sometimes I
pinch him, but I rarely get to
the beating part.

KEVIN
» married father of
7 year old and 12
year old boys

The one that’s used most
often is we normally take
away something that they like
or want to do. We try staying
away from the traditional old
punishment form of slapping
and the like. We just take
away something, so anything
they plan to keep, they have
to do what we say. It’s like a
reward thing as well, so if you
want something you have to
do something to get it. The
results are pretty satisfying; it
works 90 percent of the time,
so we still use it.
28 familyandfaithmagazine.com

MICHAEL
» married father of
5 children aged 2,
4, 12, 15 & 18 years
old

For the most part, we discuss
rules, guidelines and the
necessary disciplinary actions.
In other instances there are
contractual agreements which
require strict adherence and
result in agreed allowances
or deductions in same. A
spanking is a last resort but
sometimes warranted.

WATSON
» married father of a
4 year old boy and
7 year old girl

My wife and I are working
most of all to be consistent.
When their little tempers
flare or they directly disobey,
we use time-outs, slaps, count
down, restrictions, behaviour
charts because we homeschool and sometimes words
of praise. So sometimes, we’ll
say “good job” and they will
continue the good behaviour
throughout the day because I
guess they want to hear more
of that.

Marilyn
✽ single mother of a
22-year-old man

When he was growing up
I used examples of good
and not so good expected
behaviours. I never used
the word 'bad' as it pertains
to him. He loved to travel so
being good had its rewards.
It was tough but I had to
stick to it. Once when he
threw himself down on the
ground in a tantrum in the
supermarket, I actually left
him there. Drove off and left
him. He never did it again!
Of course, I knew the owners
of the supermarket and asked
them to keep an eye on him
and call me when he was
through, but I had to manage
that situation from early. I
also let him know about
limitations, so if he wanted
one snack over the other, I
allowed him to say which one
he would swap for another
one because he couldn't have
both. And it worked because
today he is a stable young
man who I am not ashamed
to call my son.

AUDIA
✽ single mother of
18 year old boy and
15 year old girl

I get the best results from
my teenagers when I remain
calm and when I am willing to
compromise and negotiate.
I have found that they do
not readily obey when I am
forceful and demanding.

GRACE
✽ married mother of
14 year-old boy and
12 year-old girl

When the kids were young I
decided that I wouldn’t rely
on beating or shouting to
get them to obey. I explain to
them to get them to obey. I’ve
nurtured them to respond to
common sense explanation.
So far they are both extremely
obedient and goal oriented
kids. I also reward them with
praise and we have family
discussions.
*Some names have been
changed for privacy.
Compiled by Trisha M Lee