HE SAID: SHE SAID
#MaritalRape
Do you believe rape is possible in Christian marriage? How so?
While the definition of rape is under review in Jamaica’s parliament, we investigated what you had
to say about marital rape. The Sexual Offences Act of 2009 says, “A husband commits the offence
of rape against his wife if he has sexual intercourse with his wife ... without her consent.” It is however
only applicable in circumstances where husband and wife are separated, divorce proceedings have
begun, or if the husband knows he has a Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI). For Christians, is rape simply
the act of submission being abused, (Ephesians 5:22) or a case of not needing consent for what is
already yours (1 Corinthians 7:4)? Can a wife rape her husband?
Jeremy • 35-year-old husband;
a Christian for 1 year
Cranston • 44-year-old husband;
a Christian for 18 years
Maurice • 55-year-old husband;
a Christian for 40 years
It is possible for rape to occur in a Christian
marriage. While man and wife are one,
when it comes to sex, if one party is not
in agreement and does not give consent,
then that is rape.
I don’t believe so. Scripture says husbands
and wives should only take a break by
mutual consent for prayer and fasting. So
I don’t believe that it’s possible for me to
rape my wife based on my conviction
by that passage, because we are living
according to the Word. If for whatever
reason I don’t want it and I tell her, but she
still insists, then I will give it to her and expect
likewise and vice versa, so no,
I don’t believe that.
Yes. Rape is non-consensual sex, whether
obtained by physical force or psychological
abuse. Both parties must be genuinely
willing and not under coercion.
not be, but yes it is possible. If it’s taken by
force, whether within marriage or outside
of marriage, it’s still rape. Based on God’s
instruction about submission and the fact
that the Bible says your bodies belong to
each other, it should not meet with a ‘no’
generally. But if it does, the couple should
have understanding of each other enough
to wait based on that understanding and
respect. Rape suggests some amount of
anger or rage or need for power which
should not exist in a Christian marriage.
Marlene • wife in her 60s;
a Christian for 35 years
Carl • 42-year-old husband;
a Christian for 1 year
Once there is a “no” and a continuance,
it is rape.
Anne-Cherie • 25 years old;
a Christian for 25 years
Absolutely! Anything that’s possible in a
non-Christian marriage is also possible in a
Christian marriage. In both cases, the main
difference is that Christians TRY to live their
lives according to the Word of God and are
held accountable. A Christian man who is
prone to abuse may very well force himself
on his wife. The only difference between sex
in a marriage and sex out of wedlock is that
in marriage you both have a covenant with
God. And although the Bible says a woman
should not withhold sex from her husband
(1 Cor. 7: 5), she still has a right to her body.
Soleil • 36-year-old wife;
a Christian for over 15 years
No, because Scripture says that your body
belongs to your husband and vice versa.
I would consider it rape if the relationship
ended, even though you remain married.
Lisa • 41-year-old wife;
a Christian for 31 years
If we’re subject to the Holy Spirit, it should
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Family and Faith Magazine
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Mary • wife in her 50s;
a Christian for 30 years
Yes it is. Because rape is sexual intercourse
without consent and it can happen within
and outside of marriage, and why do you
think Christian marriage is any different?
In many Christian churches a woman is
supposed to submit to her husband and
it is one of the most abused scriptures in
the Bible. But they don’t talk about how
the husband is to love the wife. I’m sure it
happens more often than we’d like to think.
She’s gonna be told, “I don’t care if you
have a headache tonight.” She’s supposed
to be a doormat!
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Kevin • husband in his 60s;
a Christian for over 30 years
Yes, it is possible, even though the Bible
says both are one, if both parties are not
submitted to each other and are not guided
by the principles of the Word of God.
Rape is sexual activities without the consent
of either partner. The Word of God says in
1 Corinthians 7:5, “defraud ye not one the
other, except it be with consent for a time,
that ye may give yourselves to fasting and
prayer.” If a man or his wife will be doing
a period of fasting or prayer and receives
consent from their partner and either party
breaks the agreement, it is rape. The act
can also be called rape if the husband is
brutal, causing pain in the act, sometimes
using sexual toys, etc. Also the relationship
between a man and his wife is compared
to Christ and the Church - we know that
Jesus Christ is full of compassion, love and is
kind to the Church.
Share your thoughts with us at
[email protected].
* Note: Some names have been changed
to protect respondents’ identities.
Compiled by Trisha Lee
Monday, January 5, 2015