Your Triggers May Not Be What You Think
By Dominic Mitges
TRIGGER WARNINGS are everywhere these days , from movies to news articles , t . v . shows to social media posts .
Having battled severe post-traumatic stress , I know how debilitating triggers can be .
And while avoidance can be a useful temporary strategy to avoid emotional overwhelm as we journey toward wholeness , experience has taught me avoidance cannot be a permanent solution to reclaiming our mental wellness and living a fulfilling life . We must do the work required to heal , so we can restore our courage to face whatever future challenges come our way .
Take the following example .
Until my early thirties , I had a debilitating aversion to criticism . All criticism , no matter how constructively delivered , triggered a sense of inferiority and defensiveness within me . Feeling personally attacked , I would always regard the other person as the cause of my suffering .
But this pattern shifted one day when a loved one interrupted to criticize me while I was in the middle of speaking to them .
Despite the initial rise of old familiar feelings , however , something about that moment felt different .
I felt that my emotional reaction stemmed from something more historical , but I wasn ’ t sure exactly what . So instead of being consumed by my feelings , I chose to be curious and ask myself , “ Where is this coming from ?”
The answer came like a flash .
I could see that much of this insecurity came from the relentless bullying I endured in elementary school .
As a child , I was something of an outcast ; small and timid with ears too big for my head , I never really cared what was cool or popular , preferring to follow myself instead of the herd .
Unfortunately , all this standing out came at the price of daily physical and mental torment from other kids . Eventually , I came to see bul-
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