As our relationship continued , I noticed something strange . I never felt peace inside . I was continually nervous , I questioned the stability of our relationship , I even started to develop physical changes to my body due to the stress of the relationship . We weren ’ t arguing , we didn ’ t have disagreements , the fight was mostly within myself . Why was the thing that I wanted most for years , the very thing that was bringing me down ? After some time had passed , the dreaded words came . “ You don ’ t deserve this , you deserve better than me ,” he said . He continued to coat his words with other phrases such as , “ If it ’ s meant to be , it will be ” and “ If it ’ s God ’ s plan , we will find our way back together .” I clung to those words , and for some time I actually thought he meant them . Once the emotions faded , though , logic had to settle within my thoughts .
At first I was frustrated with God . Why would He give me exactly what I wanted just to strip it from my hands ? Why would He lead me to this man ? I was seeking Him full-heartedly , why wouldn ’ t He lead me directly to “ the one ?” I had my moment ; I remained bitter with Him for a little while and repeatedly asked these questions . Then , after coming to my senses , I had to let logic overrule my emotions . While doing so , I discovered some things about my circumstance , myself , and God .
First , God was not being a cruel father that handed me the shiniest toy in the store just to return it the next day . Sometimes , though we believe God is being cruel in taking things away from us , He is actually redirecting us to something greater . I would have always wondered , “ what if ” when it came to a relationship with this man . Now I knew . Second , I had to evaluate the emotions that I had felt during the relationship . Was I at peace ? No . Did I feel the way God destined His daughter to feel in a relationship ? No . Were the physical signs in my body such as stress , fatigue , or weight loss signs of a happy life ? No , they weren ’ t . Lastly , could God have just been spoiling me enough to give me a taste of what I would have always questioned , just to settle my wandering mind ? Of course He would , cause He is a good , good Father . God will sometimes give us exactly what we wanted , just to show us that it is exactly what we didn ’ t need .
Sometimes , we get so caught up in our emotions and frustrations of another heartbreak , another failed attempt , that we forget God is guiding our footsteps . Proverbs 3:5-6 declares , “ Trust in the Lord with all your heart ; do not depend on your own understanding . Seek his will in all you do , and he will show you which path to take .” Our understanding doesn ’ t always make sense . That is why the word of the Lord says , “ For my thoughts are not your thoughts , neither are your ways my ways ” Isaiah 55:8 . God knows , we do not need to . Yes , on the harder days we let our minds wander why things did not work out the way that we had planned . We see down the road , but God sees around the bend .
Around my bend was much greater than what I planned just down the road . I planned I would be with this man , I was sure of it . And when it did not work out , I blamed God for the lack of caring for my heart . Though what my Father had planned for me , was much better . I began pursuing a relationship with another man , one I had known but had not seen for twenty years . The night I had met him I expected uncomfortable feelings , the “ new ” awkwardness , and the fear of the unknown . But something happened when we met eye to eye , and when this man embraced me with a hug , I felt a peace as if I was always supposed to find the spot that I was finally in . And I had been loved by a man unlike ever before .
You see , this isn ’ t just a love story or about fairytale endings , it ’ s so much more than that . It ’ s about trusting God with your heart , because He is going to place it within the best hands . Wait on Him , trust Him , be patient with Him ; because He truly does have your best interest at heart . If you are healing from a breakup , going through one currently , or maybe you relate to the pain of a broken heart that has healed some time ago , know that your heavenly Father has ordained each step and each person in your life . There ’ s a reason , even if you don ’ t understand it . He ’ s a strategical , detailed God . Trust Him . His ways are higher , His methods are wiser , His plans are better , and His love is much , much greater .