try to flex your parental muscles
in front of them. By doing so,
it may seem like you’re trying
to protect them, but in reality,
you’re giving them unrealistic
standards to live up to.
it. I’m thankful that I live in the
time after Jesus came, because
He did away with those laws.
Rather than asking His people
to constantly strive to be good
enough through ritual sacrifices,
God sent His Son Jesus to be the
Teenagers often feel like they are ultimate sacrifice. Jesus died as
old enough to have a little more payment for the sins of all peofreedom and respect, but the ple--past, present, and futureadults in their lives don’t allow -so that we would no longer have
them to have it. Their line of to live up to the impossible stanthinking tells them, “If you obey dards of the Old Testament law.
your parents and do what they The Bible says this in Romans
ask, maybe they will respect you 10:4, “For Christ is the end of the
more.” But, once they realize law for righteousness to everythat your standards for them are one that believeth” (KJV).
impossible to meet, they will turn
to other things or people to get So, if the all-powerful ruler of the
the respect they long for.
universe, God Himself, realized
Now, I’m not saying to indulge He couldn’t hold His children to
their every whim. I’m not saying impossible standards, shouldn’t
to cater to their every wish simply we follow His example as parout of fear that if you don’t, they ents? That’s why it’s important
will make poor choices, and you’ll that the healthy, Godly boundbe to blame. I’m not saying that aries parents set in place for
it is wrong to hold your children their teenage children should be
to high standards.
based in God’s Word and give
their children goals that are reaWhat I am saying, though, is to sonable and attainable.
not hold them to standards that The idea of giving your teenare unachievable. Remember ager more respect through the
that they are kids. They can’t boundaries you set may seem
and won’t be perfect. All they fine in theory, but how do you put
want is to know that their parents it into practice? Here are some
love and respect them. The best practical examples of what these
way you can show your teenage healthy, Godly boundaries look
kids that you love and respect like in everyday life.
them is by having boundaries in
place that are in line with God’s First, consider allowing them to
Word and that are also reason- have more input on family deciable for them to abide by.
sions. If you typically make all the
decisions yourself, start by letting
After all, isn’t this what God did them help decide smaller things.
with us? In the Old Testament, These could be things like where
the Israelites had to follow a rig- to go eat Sunday after church or
orous set of rules and regula- what family snacks to buy at the
tions regarding their sacrifices, grocery store. If you already let
their cleanliness, and their over- your child help with these kinds
all obedience to God. Hon- of choices, think about showing
estly, I don’t know how they did him or her a little more respect
by involving him or her in bigger
family decisions, such as how to
help a family member or friend in
need or what to do with an extra
room in the house. With these
more major decisions, always
emphasize that as the parent,
the final say will be yours, but
also emphasize that you respect
your child enough to want his or
her input in making the decision.
In addition to allowing them
to help with family decisions,
another way to demonstrate
respect for your child is by
respecting who he or she is as
an individual. Allow your teenager the freedom to be who he
or she really is by encouraging
the talents, gifts, and skills God
gave him or her. It can be tempting to try to sway your kids to
pursue things that you know will
benefit them later on. You may
urge them to take honors classes
because you know that it will
help them get college scholarships. You may persuade them
to follow a career path that you
know will be stable and profitable
for them in the future. It’s okay
to have these feelings, because
they show that you really do care
about your children and want
them to be taken care of. But,
if your child struggles in school
academically, don’t sign him
up for honors classes. If your
child really hates blood, don’t try
to convince her to be a doctor.
Instead of trying to mold them
into something or someone that
you want them to be, respect
them by letting them be who God
created them to be by encouraging the talents, gifts, and skills
He gave them.
Finally, when they do disobey
(because they will), handle the
situation with respect. Don’t