He knew in his heart, his son
was changed – for the better. It
was a hard lesson to learn, and
it was learned the hard way,
but he learned it. And he was a
changed man because of it.
None of us want to see our kids
go through hardship. We would
take their place if we could. The
fact is, we can’t. They are on
their own journey. We can only
do what Proverbs 22:6 tells us to
do: It says to “Train up a child in
the way he should go, and when
he is old he will not depart from
it.” I believe this is exactly what
the father in the parable did. This
is why the son came to himself
and realized the truth. Home is
where unconditional love and
acceptance is, and home is
where he knew he needed to be.
Of course, we don’t want our
children all coming back home
once they are old enough to be
out on their own. We want them
to be prepared to live on their
own. But in this case, the son
knew he wasn’t ready, he knew
he was not prepared. He had
proven that by squandering all
of the money with bad decisions.
He knew he needed to be back
home. He had survived, now he
needed to learn how to thrive.
Letting Go
So how do we let them go?
Again, it will take much prayer
and wisdom. It takes prayer
because we need God’s peace
to rest in our hearts. It would be
all too easy to become fearful of
the possibility of something bad
happening to our children just
because we know there’s evil
out there. Instead, of listening
to the news late at night before
bed, and hearing about all the
bad things, I will be listening to
God’s words that are always
there to comfort my heart.
I have to remind myself that it is
normal to feel some anxiety and
even sadness. When my daughter speaks with such enthusiasm about going away, and how
excited she is, I have to remember to just be excited with her and
allow her to enjoy that moment. I
don’t want to take away her happiness and dampen her spirit by
telling her about my mixed emotions.
to be dependent upon us, we
want them to be independent,
and capable of making their own
decisions – even if we disagree
with those decisions. It is healthy
and necessary to let go. It may
help to do it a little at a time, one
tiny step at a time, rather than
all of a sudden. We can do this
knowing God will give us the
strength.
1 Peter 5:7 invites us and
comforts us. He says “Casting all your care upon Him, for
He cares for you.” This means
He cares about all I’m feeling
I know that’s just part of being a and experiencing as well – the
parent. It’s not her fault, and it’s nervousness, the anxiety, the
not her problem to deal with. She uncertainty. God knows about
simply has to live her own life. it all. Remember, He had to “let
Leaving home is a healthy part go” of His only Son, Jesus. He
of growing up and we as parents had to “release” Him to the world
simply have to allow them that. in order to become our Savior.
It is what a well adjusted young He had to allow Him to experiadult child is supposed to do.
ence the pain and suffering He
If we try to hinder that, we risk did in order for us to gain eterstunting their growth – emotion- nal life. Even though the Father
ally and psychologically. In a knew the outcome, He still felt
Psychology Today article Jann the pain.
Gumbiner, Ph.D. states the following:
I can trust God to see my daughter, my family, and me through
When they were born, they were this transition of letting go of a
defenseless. They couldn’t feed child – knowing He did it first.
themselves and would have
died without you. They were Source cited:
completely dependent on you. www.psychologytoday.com/blog
But, they are no longer dependent children. If your child can Lisa Carter is a contributing writer
get around in the world without for Faith Filled Family Magazine,
you, then you have succeeded. legal secretarial administrator,
Every parent’s goal is to make and mom of three. Lisa loves
themselves obsolete.”
the Lord and faithfully serves in
the choir, the praise and worship
Sound harsh? I know. Especially team, and plays piano for the
the part about how the goal is for little children’s choir. She and
parents to become “obsolete.” I her family live in Northern Calihad to swallow hard on that one fornia.
myself. However, what she says
is true. We don’t want our kids