Faith Filled Family Magazine August 2016 | Page 48

marriages do not begin with a true understanding
of God’s plan and purpose for the couple and their
life.

To ask the question, “Should you pray for reconciliation?”, one must realize that God would always
desire for our relationships to last, therefore, the
answer would absolutely be yes! We need to
begin at home first, so to speak, and check our
own hearts and minds. How can we make things
better? There is always going to be three sides to
every story; Yours, Theirs, and the Truth. While
we all have our own version to every situation, we
must be willing to seek and accept the truth of our
own faults and failuresin order to be able to mend
what’s broken. Therefore, if we are willing to accept
our own role and we want to do whatever it takes to
fix every problem, then the first thing will always be
to pray without ceasing. Never simply pray for God
to change the spouse only, but make sure to pray
for Him to change what’s wrong in your own heart.
To believe that everything is all their fault would be
the first step to losing the battle.
That is the answer to the question of whether or
not we should even pray. The one thing that is
certain to any relationship’s survival is the fact that
both partners have to be willing to work together to
fix problems. Both have to want it to survive and
work to make it happen. The main thing is understanding that both partners have to be willing to
accept the truth about themselves and be willing
to rectify their own faults. Many times, however,
one will decide that they no longer want to be in the
relationship and are not willing to do what it takes
to make it work. Once their mind is made up, you
cannot change it no matter how hard you try, and
at that time it is most often best to let them go.
When two people desire the same thing for a relationship, even if it seems to be falling apart, God
will mend what is broken and prayer is the key to
seeing change where change is needed.
Matthew 19:4-9 teaches us the following:
“And he answered and said unto them, Have ye
not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For
this cause shall a man leave father and mother,
and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall

be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain,
but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined
together, let not man put asunder. They say unto
him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith
unto them, Moses bec ause of the hardness of your
hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but
from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto
you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it
be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is
put away doth commit adultery.
If when couples come together to be joined in marriage, they would first come to the knowledge of
God’s plan for them, possibly they would be able
to pray through the toughest of times and survive
the hardest of issues. In which case, by all means
pray. Pray without ceasing until the situation
changes. Trust that God’s plan for your marriage
is for it to prosper. Trust also that His desire is for
you and your partner to live together throughout
eternity as one. Yet if one spouse decidesthat
he/she doesn’t want to be in the relationship any
longer, it will be almost impossible to pray hard
enough for them to stay. The reason for this is
because God gives us all the same free-will. Just
as we have the choice to live for Him or not, we
also have the choice to live with our spouse or not,
and when a person has made up their minds to
leave a relationship, most often there is no changing their minds. At that point, it is best for the one
left behind to simply let go. This is especially true
if the leaving partner is not a believer and the one
left behind is trying to live a Christian life. 1 Corinthians 7:15 says: “But if the unbelieving depart,
let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under
bondage in such cases: but God hath called us
to peace.”As hard as it can be for a broken heart,
it is often best to just let go of a spouse that has
left the relationship both physically and emotionally. Many people who are trying to serve God
don’t understand that He would rather you live
in peace apart, than in misery together, and they
often stay in a horrible situation much longer than
they needed to.
HOW DO YOU DETERMINE WHAT TO DO?
Trying to understand if you have done all that
can be done or if it is completely over, will be an
excruciating task. Conversations turn in to argu-