Faith Filled Family Magazine August 2016 | Page 12

seums jousting with one another
over other parents’ calamities.
There are others who have cruelly cheered for or demanded the
“execution” of perceived unsuccessful parents and their deviant
offspring. As a society we tend
to hold parents accountable for
the wayward actions of their children regardless of their age. To
be fair, we also accredit parents
when their children grow up to be
responsible or gifted individuals.
Consequently, I learned the hard
way—through personal experience—not to judge rebellion as
solely due to a lapse in parenting and ideally not to judge at all.
Shortly after moving some distance away from our authority, either to attend college or
to start life on their own, my
children each in their own way
veered away from their Christian upbringing. Although by
the grace of God they did not
break any societal laws, they did
things that broke God’s, my husband’s, and my heart. They are
on a path of restoration now, but
how did this happen considering they were saved when they
were younger and they were
consistently trained in Godly
standards both at home and at
church? My husband and I led
them by example to the best of
our abilities, yet they rebelled
and fell into sin.
Reflecting on my own life, I
recall rebelling against parental
authority when I was a child as
well. While living with my grandmother, I asked permission to
take my cousin to visit her father
who lived a short distance away.
My grandmother granted me
permission but gave me strict
instructions that I was not to eat
any food offered to us by this

family. She knew they practiced
witchcraft and she feared they
may put a curse on me through
the food. As my grandmother
foreknew, I was offered food as
soon as my cousin and I arrived
and I ate it. I was given strict
instructions, yet I willfully disobeyed.
Since the rebellious behaviors
in these examples were against
moral standards and only
affected our family, they did not
illicit outcry or condemnation
from society. However, in God’s
view it does not matter where
rebellion manifests or how
severe it may be, we are in sin
if we know the rules yet choose
our own way (James 4:17 paraphrase). Just how much of
individual behaviors should we
attribute to parenting strengths
or weaknesses and what can
parents do to overcome rebellion in their child? To make that
determination we need to first
understand the root of rebellion.
As the first parent, God gave His
children, Adam and Eve, one
command and explained the
consequences if they strayed
from it. The consequences
included immediate spiritual
death (separation from God),
and an eventual physical death
for themselves and their offspring. These firstborns of mankind already knew good and
evil, as explained to them by
God. They were granted limited
knowledge of what was good
and evil—all the fruits of the
trees were good to eat except
one. Also, they were already
like God, in that they were made
in His image and had His Holy
Spirit in them. However, Satan
exploited their self-interest and
used it to deceive them into

lusting over things they already
possessed, which then led them
into rebellion.
Adam and Eve did not rebel
because God’s rearing skills
were deficient. The deficiency
resided in the application of their
individual wills. Their error propagated a weakness in the wills
of every human since, manifesting as an inclination to rebel. It
also instigates the exaltation
of one’s will over the wills of
those in authority. It is choosing
autonomy over sovereignty—in
essence pride. The root cause of
rebellion is pride, because selfregard is most often the underlying influence for the errant
behavior. Pride always precedes
a fall, manifesting individually
first and then eventually propagating throughout societies.
Each of us enters this world with
a wild, unruly will. We all inherited that rebellious, haughty spirit
from our original parents. This
rebellious nature manifests in
each individual in various ways
and intensity. This is the reason
the Bible advises us to “train up a
child in the way he should go and
when he is old he will not depart
from it” (Proverbs 22:6). The
will must be trained beginning
the moment the child becomes
self-aware. Rules accompanied
with consequences are the most
effective training tools in cultivating a disciplined will, and a disciplined will fosters self-control.
Developmental
psychologist,
Erik Erikson, developed the psychosocial theory identifying eight
stages of lifespan. He theorized
that in the second stage of life,
ages one to three years, children
begin exhibiting autonomous