FACSAFOUNDATION.ORG SHATTERING THE SILENCE TOUR DOCUMENTARY PROJECT Volume 7 | Page 36

ANGER
Some people felt I should have felt more anger over my loss than I did. I guess I should have been
angry; leaving loved ones behind like that was not a loving thing for him to do. But, I was never
angry at him. Instead I felt pity for the pain he must have been feeling to make such an extreme
decision as this. These feelings only lead me back to the feelings of guilt. But for many, anger is a
very normal part of their grieving process. If nothing else, you may displace your anger towards
others.

SEEKING SUPPORT
Seek support from counseling, support groups, books, your faith leader, friends or family who fully
understand your grief and who exhibits compassion and patience allowing you to talk through your
thoughts and feelings without judgment. Those who do not provide the support you need may only
serve to hold you back from your grieving and healing process. On the other hand, remember that
other friend and family survivors will be experiencing their own pain. So it is equally important to be
patient with them as well. In the resources below this article, you will find some ideas for support of
suicide survivors.
BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF
Take the grief-work process slowly. Don't force the emotions, pains and memories aside before
you're ready to do so. Don’t be afraid to cry; tears are a natural way to grieve and to heal. But on the
other hand, don’t feel bad for smiling and laughing. You are still alive, so it is good to enjoy such
pleasantries, which is also healing. Know that your emotions will come in and out of different phases
as different memories and emotions come and go. So what you feel one minute may be quite
different the next. These shifts in emotions also tend to bring on headaches, loss of appetite, sleep
disturbances and periods of "unreality." These are quite common to experience and do not mean
that you are going crazy.
Refrain from making major decisions in your life shortly after the death. Your grief may distort your
ability to handle changes and to make sound choices. Despite your grief, feelings of depression and
lack of interest to do so, realize that it will be important for you to take as good of care of yourself as
you can.