Pillar 4:
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Pillar 4:
Remember, You’ re Only Human
Caring for someone with Parkinson’ s is a bit like starting a new job without a training manual. When everything feels heavy, remember this: The stress or struggle you feel isn’ t a personal weakness. It’ s a normal response to a demanding role that none of us were formally taught to do.
On top of that, you’ re only human: You’ re imperfect, and you make mistakes. Each day, you do the best you can with the information, tools and energy you have. And you give all you can, knowing your“ all” will vary from day to day.
Be Kind to Yourself
Self-compassion is one of the most important tools you can add to your care partner toolkit. Like selfcare, self-compassion isn’ t selfish; it’ s an essential part of showing up for both yourself and someone else. When you treat yourself kindly, you’ re able to treat your loved one with that same kindness, patience and love.
Self-compassion can also be an antidote for times you lose your cool or feel worn out. It’ s a reminder that getting frustrated doesn’ t make you a bad care partner or person; it makes you human. Meeting your mistakes with understanding and grace turns missteps into moments of learning, rather than a source of guilt. Turn to Managing Your Emotions for more.
Build Your Self-Compassion Muscles
Being gentle with yourself can lower stress, reduce anxiety and depression and improve emotional resilience, which is the ability to adapt to stressful situations. It also helps you stay( or regain) calm, bounce back from setbacks and keep a positive outlook.
Like anything else, self-compassion is a skill that can be learned. Just as exercise builds physical strength, self-compassion builds emotional strength, or your ability to sit with and work through emotions— even the most difficult ones.
Tips for Self Compassion
Reframe self-talk. Notice how you talk to yourself. If that involves criticism or harsh words, stop and imagine how you’ d react if you heard someone talking to a good friend the same way. Treat yourself with the same warmth and gentleness you’ d give a family member or young child.
Talk back to negative thoughts. Stop negative thoughts in their tracks. Say something like,“ No, thank you, we’ re not entertaining that idea right now.” Some people even name the“ bully” in their head so they can more directly challenge unhelpful thoughts:“ No, Mr. Mean Guy, not today.”
Work with a therapist. Techniques like talk or cognitive behavioral therapy can help identify and challenge unproductive thoughts and negative self-talk.
Recognize shared humanity. If you find yourself thinking,“ I’ m the only one who struggles with this,” take a moment to gather evidence— through support groups, readings or personal conversations— that other Parkinson’ s care partners face similar challenges and feelings.
Practice loving-kindness meditation. Through free, guided practices, you can generate genuine care and love for yourself and others.
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