54
Avoid the Trap of Toxic Positivity
Toxic positivity is the belief that people should keep a positive mindset, no matter how difficult their situation. Unlike optimism, which involves positive thinking while acknowledging and validating the reality of challenges, toxic positivity doesn’ t allow difficult or negative emotions. This way of thinking pressures people to suppress normal and valid emotions with the goal of keeping positive— which isn’ t healthy.
Even if well-meaning, toxic positivity can cause harm by dismissing emotions, increasing isolation, blocking genuine support and minimizing your burdens or needs as a care partner. It can also make care partners feel shame or guilt for having emotions, sharing needs or seeking help, and it can lead to loneliness and burnout over time.
If you tend to minimize your emotions, avoid difficult conversations to keep the peace or experience feelings of shame because you’ re struggling, consider whether you might be slipping into toxic positivity. If that’ s the case, try to reframe your thinking: Instead of saying,“ Everyone has challenges; mine aren’ t so bad,” validate your feelings:“ Parkinson’ s is challenging, care partnership is difficult, and that’ s okay.”
If others approach you with toxic positivity— telling you to look on the bright side, find the silver lining or that everything happens for a reason— recognize their intent to be supportive and explain how their words affect you. Say something like,“ I appreciate the support, but saying that happiness is a choice makes me feel bad about being sad and having hard days. It’ s important for me to express those feelings and work through them, and I’ d love your help to do that.”
Table of Contents