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Self-Care as a Long-Distance Care Partner
Care partnering from a distance can bring its own challenges and stressors. You may feel guilty about not being physically present, not spending enough time with your loved one or like you’ re not doing enough to support your loved one and their primary care partner. You might even experience feelings of envy toward the primary care partner, who sees your loved one every day.
As a long-distance care partner, you may experience different emotions from someone who cares inperson. You might feel jealous that someone else is with your loved one more than you’ re able to be. You might feel guilty that you’ re not there, especially during challenging times. You might even feel guilty while you are there, because you have the ability to leave. These emotions are normal, valid and understandable. Recognize and work through them. Turn to The Emotional Impact on Care Partners for more. Remember that no matter where you’ re physically located, you can still experience the emotions and strain of being a care partner. Build your own network of support and take care of yourself.
Practicing Gratitude as Self-Care
Sparks of gratitude, humor and joy are not indulgences; they are proven ways to care for yourself and refill your emotional tank. Research shows that small everyday practices— pausing to notice three good things or sharing a light-hearted video— can boost your mood and resilience, even when life, work and care partner demands are high. As Michael J. Fox has said,“ Gratitude makes optimism sustainable.”
Looking for silver linings, or upsides, to not-great situations can lighten heaviness and boost mood. For example:
+ I am sad my loved one is in the hospital, but glad for the time together it’ s given us.
+ I wish Mom wasn’ t sick, but I’ m grateful my siblings and I are working together to help her and each other.
This doesn’ t mean you should always be positive. As with anything, there can be too much of a good thing. Life and Parkinson’ s bring difficult emotions and situations. Try to accept those difficulties, using positivity as a support. But never use positivity to dismiss others’ feelings, hide yours or bring guilt for having less positive— yet completely normal— feelings, such as sadness or worry. Turn to Avoid the Trap of Toxic Positivity for more.
Building a Gratitude Practice
Studies have found that gratitude exercises, whether penning a quick thank-you note or reflecting on the day’ s good moments in a nightly journal, reliably brighten mood and build resilience to stress. Daily practice can change the way your brain perceives and processes situations and what you focus on. Energy flows where attention goes!
Look for natural moments to be grateful, like when you first open your eyes in the morning or put your head on the pillow at night, over breakfast with loved ones or when tucking your children into bed. Appreciate and share one or two small, specific things about that moment or that day, or point out things or people you’ re grateful for in real-time. Take an extra beat to feel and express that gratitude.
There’ s no one right way to practice gratitude, and your personal practice can take many forms and change over time. Whether you’ re new to gratitude or well-versed in the habit, consider the strategies on the following page to create a sustainable gratitude practice in your life.
+ I am thankful for the stranger who held the door for me, for my favorite coffee mug or for the sunlight streaming in the window.
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