When
our Father
calls the
home
“God sets the lonely in families, he leads
out the prisoners with singing”
—Psalm 68:6
Steeped in generations of brokenness, many of the
lonely come from homes where they are mastered by
alcoholism, drug addiction, physical violence and
emotional abuse. Knowing no other way to live, they
perpetrate these learned dysfunctions in their own
families.
Several staff at Tamar Village have opened their
homes to these brothers and sisters. “These broken
individuals need to be placed in a healthy family
environment, where preferably a married couple can
serve as spiritual mother or father figures to them. So
much of their restoration takes place by returning
them to a healthy family context,” Mercy, the head of
Tamar Village explains. Being invited into these
homes shows them that they are not a ministry
product, a beneficiary, or a burden. They are family.
The simple acts of receiving a house key and having a
bed to sleep in restores stability and peace. It goes a
Oreo the Poodle and Donut
the miniature Maltese, feeling
at home with Mercy and Daniel.
long way in healing their identities as sons and
daughters of God; they see that they are loved. As they
share a dinner table with the family, they feel a sense of
belonging. As they hold onto their new house key, they
know they are trusted.
DISCIPLING IN LOVE
It is on God’s heart for discipleship to take place in the
context of family. He was the first to open His home to
us. “Although we have made and will continue to make
many mistakes, He says, ‘I trust you. Here are the keys
to My Kingdom. Rule with Me,’” Mercy says.
God’s Kingdom bids us to love Him and others. But have
we known the commands so much by heart that we
scarcely know them as words spoken to the heart?
Extending love that is patient, kind, not boastful and
proud, whilst acknowledging another’s inherent dignity
renders them able to dive into their inner depths,
discover what they want, and fashion out of that desire
the will to achieve it. For these young fostered adults,
unsolved issues of the heart take time to lose its grip
over them, but it is especially in this wilderness that
they need to be loved. “They may quarrel with you, steal
things and not know why,” says Mercy. “When someone
you have helped for years spits the accusation, ‘You
have never loved me’, you want to shout back, ‘How can
you say that?’ But humility in love says, ‘I want to
understand where you are coming from.’ You realise
that you haven’t loved them in the way they need. So
you learn to love better. But such a love is not ordinary,
and you can only do it by the power of the Spirit who
works both in you, and them.”
RESTORED TO LOVE
There have been moments when the hand we used to
reach out to another’s need was not ours but His, and
the tears that have come to our eyes at another’s joy or
sadness were also His. We have seen Him in those
moments when, moved by His Spirit alive within us, we
have been a reflection of Him to one another. Through
us, the fostered experience His redemptive love, power,
and grace, and they too catch His heart for the last, the
least and the lost. Today, Anna leads and disciples a
group of young people from church. She understands
how difficult life can be for these youths and how
important it is to have a mentor, and godly community.
Every person who has yet to know God is a prodigal son
or daughter waiting to be reconciled to the Father, and
Mercy hopes to see more families within the Christian
community open their homes. She concludes, “If every
Christian home receives unconditionally at least one
broken person who needs a place to stay, we will see a
decrease in society’s issues. When others see us sharing
selflessly, giving abundantly and loving unceasingly,
they will know that God is real. For even though it is
done and lived out in such an ordinary manner, such a
love is extraordinary.”
It is wonderful to be a recipient of such a love, but the
tyranny of life’s confusion and the demands of one’s
demons restrain the endeavour to receive it freely, and
to freely give it back. Joy (featured on page 5) would
project past family hurts onto Aunty Alice, but as the
Holy Spirit taught her to reciprocate in love, she grew
more receptive to Aunty Alice’s tireless patience and
persistence. “I learnt to respect her by considering her
preferences. I even tell her, ‘I love you.’” Joy shares.
Anna, a youth fostered by Mercy, also went through a
process of deep healing and forgave her parents for
their mistakes. “We have seen God’s love in her life,”
says Mercy. “She sees our imperfections and yet, she
has learnt to receive and love us. She has taught my
husband and I to accept others in their inadequacy.”
Open doors will open hearts.
“…He says, ‘I trust you. Here are the keys
to My Kingdom. Rule with Me’”
7