From The Gun To
T h e wo r d
Mayang’s steely gaze barely stirred with emotion
as he recalled watching his best friend slowly die,
after struggling for ten hours on the battlefield from
a bullet that shot through his face, and left his jaw
hanging by the flesh of desperation. Mayang himself
had teetered along the brink of death, when his unit
tread unsuspectingly into a minefield that surrounded
enemy territory. The mines they’d stepped on failed to
detonate, and upon inspection, they were astonished
to discover that the explosive devices were not defective.
from worthlessness and despair? When I recognise how
undeserving I am, and how unfailing God’s goodness has
been to me, I can only thirst and hunger to walk in ways
that’s worthy of His death on the cross.”
The passing of a decade has not obscured the memory
of all that God has done for him, cementing a loyalty
and dedication that’s unfaltering. “This life is not my
own. I’ve been gifted with it. But in this limited time
of stewardship, will I inspire others to build their lives
upon His truth? Not for fame or profit, but for the deep
yearning to draw close to Him. His word teaches us
how to live, and it’s meaningless if its implications lie
void in our lives.”
It’s hard to believe that this brutal and unforgiving
discipline of military purgatory was once inhaled,
like new oxygen, by the now reformed, and soft-
spoken teacher of the Word. But he had desperately
depended on it for self-affirmation, and beneath that
freedom fighter masquerade hid a man whose fight
for freedom was actually for self: his fight from shame,
his fight for worth. He had congratulated himself for
‘being brave’, by thrusting himself onto the battlefield
frontlines, when in truth, it was the misled belief – I
am worthless – that precisely delineated his existence.
He didn’t value life, and yet, death constantly dodged
him, demonstrating with ringing lucidity that divine
intervention can mitigate one’s final hour. But it was
through an answered prayer request – to release his
father from prison for a crime he didn’t commit – that
the Lord finally gripped Mayang’s heart. In exchange
for his father’s freedom, Mayang promised to serve
God till he breathed his last.
As the teachings of the Word become a part of
who he is, Mayang discards his veil as a ruthless
guerrilla fighter and uncovers his dignity as a soldier
of God. He’s made the leap across the abyss of
meaninglessness and landed safely, but he knows
that the safe space is a narrow one, where taunts of
humiliation and prejudice can easily pull him back into
the torment he’d escaped from. Sullied thoughts still
cross his mind, but it’s the conscious choice to do the
right thing that exercises control over his behaviour.
He advocates,
“IF YOU HAVE THE WILL AND HEART
TO CHANGE, YOU WILL.”
As his intimacy deepened with the Lord, so did his
desire for the Word. And the more he sought to know
God through the Word, the more he recognised Him
for who He really is. But he cautioned, “We should
not take the Word of God lightly. We must honour
it, and never falsify the doctrines by misleading
with imprecise interpretations. Exercise humility and
admit that there are limitations to our capacity and
understanding. We will never fully comprehend God’s
will, purposes and the depths of his love for us. But if
we trust in the Lord who is sovereign, we will eagerly
submit and live like He’s worthy.”
He left the army and did a DTS in Dehradun, India,
but it wasn’t enough. His shallow understanding of
the bible further inspired him to enrol into the School
of Biblical Studies in Mysore. The army had reined
in his once uncontrollable emotions through sheer
brute force, but the Word gave him the freedom to
be discipled through convictions that are his own. A
profound realisation of what God did for him defined
his resolute transformation. Mayang acknowledged,
“He sacrificed His only Son to die for me. Do I deserve
this boundless mercy and grace He’s showered me
with? Do I deserve this redeemed life that saved me
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