FACES - YWAM Singapore Issue.2017 - Page 11

s u rr e nde r And Relinquish Control For my birthday in 2012, I decided to gift myself with an unforgettable sunrise at the peak of Mount Batur, an active volcano in Bali. Set at 1717m above the ground, it’s renowned for its beautiful display of the first light of day. To ensure a successful ascent, we made sure we were thoroughly prepared. But when we arrived at the peak, the gorgeous sunset we’d expected was masked by a heavy fog. We had done everything we could to reach the mountaintop, but the magnificent sunrise was still not within our reach. While caring for my mom, my husband and I also suffered two miscarriages and several failed attempts via treatments to start a family. This roller coaster of emotions threw us either into moments of great anticipation or deep sadness. But God has been faithful and carried me through the entire journey as I surrender my situations, weariness, and grief to Him. As I embrace the crises, God sustains and grows my faith, and I find myself growing stronger and resting fully in the Lord Jesus Himself. I now entrust my mum to God, as He knows best how to care for her during this illness. I rely on Him, who will guide and teach me, as I try my best to love, care and journey with her. That day, I learnt that it doesn’t matter how prepared you are, some things are just beyond your control. But God showed me, through a father-like figure whose strong and firm grip was incremental in pulling me up, through every step of the hazardous climb, that He is sovereignly in control, even when I’m not. His ever- present help is unfailing, and His grace is more than sufficient to carry me through the storms of life. I have also learnt that God can use the brokenness in my life to reach out and support others around me. God lovingly takes our weakest and most painful experiences to exemplify the strength and sufficiency of His grace. My greatest desire is to grow and be moulded by God, to be under His Lordship, so that my life will give Him the greatest glory as I continue to trust and hope in the unfailing One who is journeying with me. Only then can I avail myself to help and support others around me. My life has been spiraling madly for the past 5 years. But a timely reminder of these unshakeable truths assured me: WHEN THE OUTCOMES OF A A friend once introduced me to a Japanese art form called Kintsugi – “to patch with gold”. Instead of discarding broken ceramics, the artisan repairs it with gold dust on resin or lacquer, illuminating the damage that embraces its imperfections. That is often how God works as He heals us, while using our baggage for something better, and a purpose that’s beyond ourselves. We have all experienced pain in one form or another, but with God’s help, we don’t have to bear it alone, or remain defeated and broken. The more convicted I am of His control in my life, the more I see the gold He’s sealed my brokenness with, and it deepens my trust in Him. PLANNED LIFE DO NOT MEET OUR EXPECTATIONS OR DELIVER THE RESULTS HOPED FOR, WE CAN STILL LOOK BACK AND BELIEVE THAT GOD IS IN CONTROL. Witnessing my mom’s slow and steady deterioration with Alzheimer’s has prolonged my grief, and her recent loss of speech left me completely helpless. We had no control over her condition, and I didn’t even know whether we were making her feel better. 9