HOOSIER MAMA
By Farrah Alexander
LET’S BE
THE VILLAGE
WE CAN – WE HAVE TO
–END BULLYING
BEAUTIFUL LITTLE LIFE WAS
RECENTLY, AND SENSELESS-
LY, LOST IN LOUISVILLE AND
THE STORY HAS CAPTIVATED
AND SADDENED THE NATION.
A
At only 10 years old, Seven Bridges had survived 26
surgeries for a bowel condition enduring incredible
struggles.
At only 10 years old, he died of suicide.
The thought of an innocent child’s life ending so
abruptly is a deeply upsetting one.
Personally, I’ve avoided the story as long as I
could. But, we can’t all look away and not talk about
why young Seven struggled so much. It’s such an
unfathomable situation, and everyone is asking
why and how could this happen.
Seven’s parents have one quite simple and
devastating explanation: bullying.
He was relentlessly bullied, and it simply got to
be too much.
As parents, we always strive to protect our children
and safeguard them as best we can from bullying.
We do our best to open up lines of communication
with our children and let them know it’s safe to talk
to us about anything. We let them know it’s not OK
for someone to be unkind to them. We talk to their
teachers about any potential issues that may arise.
All that is great.
But it’s not enough.
74 EXTOL : FEBRUARY/MARCH 2019
There are many facets to bullying, and putting our
own children as the potential victims barely chips
away at the surface of the issue. After all, if bullying
is happening, someone’s kid has to be the bully, and
we need to address that possibility.
So, it’s time to talk to your kids about the other
side of bullying.
Talk to them about behavior that is unkind and
unacceptable. Kids don’t always identify bullying
behavior as bullying. They often view it as just
poking fun. So, ask them, is that other child having
fun? Talk to them about how they interact with their
classmates and how their behavior makes them feel.
If your child’s behavior is making another child feel
worse, something’s wrong. So, let your child know
that’s not OK. Correct the behavior. Discipline. Follow
up with your child’s teacher about your concerns.
Many times, a child who bullies is suffering in
some way. Find out what’s going on. Are there
stressful issues at home that are now affecting their
days in school? Have they learned the behavior from
somewhere else (another child, media)? Are they
struggling with academic aspects of school? Find the
root cause of the problem and address it. Let your
child know that they’re loved and they’re in control
of this behavior. So work to fix it and encourage
your child to be kind. It’s never too late to be kind.
Once you’ve encouraged empathetic behavior
and promoted kindness, talk to your kids about
what bullying looks like. Give them examples so
when they see it (when, not if, because they will see
it), they understand what’s happening. Encourage
them to compassionately and safely defuse a bullying
situation and if they don’t feel comfortable, get a
teacher or other school employee to help.
If they can tell a fellow classmate is being bullied,
encourage them to reach out to that child. Teach
them to be exceptionally kind and let the bullied
child know that you care. Ask them what they need
help with. Sit with them on the school bus and in
the cafeteria. Smile. Wave to them in the hallway.
And tell you.
Now, you touch base with that child’s parents.
It takes a village, right? Well, let’s be the village. Let
the other parents know what’s going on. Make sure
they’re aware and can address the issue with their
child. Then, just like your child showed compassion
to the one being bullied, you show compassion to
the parents of the bullied. Ask them what they need.
Have they already spoken to a teacher? Principal?
Has a resolution been met and the bullying stopped?
If not, do they need support escalating the issue?
Then support them! Accompany them to PTO
BE PREPARED SO YOU KNOW
WHAT TO DO IF YOU HEAR
ABOUT BULLYING HAPPENING.
WHAT’S YOUR CHILD’S SCHOOL
POLICY ON BULLYING? WHO
ARE THE GUIDANCE COUNSEL-
ORS AND HOW DO YOU REACH
THEM? DO YOU HAVE A WAY
TO CONTACT OTHER PARENTS?
DO YOU HAVE YOUR CHILD’S
TEACHER’S PREFERRED
CONTACT INFORMATION?