A LESSON OF LOSS AND GAIN
time job from home some of the time this was
going on and was able to “act normal” about 25%
of the time while we were outside of the house.
People who saw me once a week probably didn’t
even notice I was different because I became a
master of hiding it. But keeping these secrets were
crushing and all of the weight took a psychological
toll on me that affects me to this day.
I would sit in the car rider line at school or
at the kids sporting events and cry behind my
sunglasses because I was afraid I was never
going to be able to enjoy my life again and felt
so alone. All I wanted in life was my little five-
person blended family, and I couldn’t even make
it to a birthday party or make the girls breakfast
in the morning, let alone be the present role
model that they all deserved. The guilt trip that
I gave myself for not being able to just get up
and overcome was endless. I knew there was
something deeply wrong, and I also knew the
chances of finding a doctor who could help me
were very small by this point.
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36 EXTOL : DECEMBER 2019/JANUARY 2020
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FOR ALL YOUR
7617 Old State Rd 60 Sellersburg, IN 47172