Exploring Teens Issue 8 / Feb-Mar 2016 | Page 15

EXPLORING TRANSITION 16 NOV 5.30 AM AEDT (7.30 PM PARIS) Daughter I'm OK; it's a really awful atmosphere here. Everyone is deeply affected, everyone is very scared. There have been lots of false alarms around the city tonight. We've had a bunch of people staying at our place since the attacks. Daughter: In Paris, many people live alone. As I live close to my workplace, I offered my apartment as a place to stay for any of my stranded co-workers. Another friend who lived alone in the street where one of the shootings took place moved in with us. Over the weekend, people came to us from work, arrived to have dinner or just watch TV. No one wanted to be alone, so we opened our doors to anyone needing company or support. People all over the city did the same, and one of my enduring memories of the attacks will be the sense of fellowship and community that emerged from such horror. Mother: That weekend, the focus of my world became a flickering TV screen as I trawled news channels for updates. Communication by sms in a situation like this is brutal. Text messages can’t relay unexpressed emotion the way that the tone of voice can do via the phone or a look in the eyes can do via Skype. I needed to know she was safe every hour, but would that be suffocating her? I wanted to tell her that we were afraid for her safety, but would that inflame her own fear? I wanted her to be in constant contact, but she had friends she needed to locate. I wanted to reassure her, but what advice could I give in a such a volatile situation? Above all, I wanted her to be home where I could keep her safe. As parents, we understand the need to let go as our teens grow up – in theory. In practice, whether your children are two, ten or twenty years old, when danger threatens, the visceral urge to shield them is as fierce as ever. All parents face the dilemma of how to let go when their instinct is driving them to protect. The answer is we have no choice. Our teens must take risks in order to grow. All we can do is trust that the values and principles that we have instilled in them will continue to guide them. My daughter returns to Paris tomorrow – on a one-way ticket. It will be agonising to say goodbye, but part of me goes with her and will always be with her. That’s just the way it is for parents – it’s a job for life, and no matter how much we loosen the strings, the bond is never broken. YOUR TEEN’S LEGAL RIGHTS Many laws applicable to your children change before they hit the ripe old age of 18. By Katherine Hawes I f you have teenagers, it is important to know what their legal rights are as they move into adulthood. Your teenagers right to… 1. Leave school Australian State