The secrets of persuasion from an expert in the art
After a few years working at home , have you forgotten the best ways to persuade someone in a working environment ? If so , let ’ s reset ! First up , we ’ ll start by digesting the 15 most common persuasion mistakes , fresh from Michelle Bowden …
THE EXPERT
Michelle is a certified speaking professional and communication skills coach who has delivered her Persuasive Presentation Skills Masterclass more than 950 times for 12,000 people . She has also authored a number of books , including How to Persuade : The skills you need to get what you want .
Can you think of a time when you ’ ve been faced with someone who didn ’ t have particularly good persuasion skills ? What did you think ? What did it feel like ?
Typically , when we come across someone who seems to struggle with persuasion ( be it your manager , staff , clients , external consultants or even family and friends ) most of us would never tell them they weren ’ t very effective at being persuasive . And we certainly wouldn ’ t highlight the fact that they might have offended us . We just don ’ t tend to give people that type of feedback .
The alternative ? We often find ourselves preferring to just ignore that person in the future and / or forgetting the interaction ever happened .
This is because we often don ’ t want to offend the person who turned us off or cause any unnecessary conflict . And if the interaction was with a senior manager , for example , calling out the negative behaviour might prove even more detrimental .
Unfortunately , though , this isn ’ t good news for the person with poor persuasion skills . With approaches like the above , they ’ ll never know the impact of their behaviour and may not realise it was ineffective or even offensive …
For that reason , it ’ s important to flip this on its head . Let ’ s explore the most common mistakes you might be making with your persuasion techniques to ensure you ’ re not the one putting other people in a difficult situation … S michellebowden . com . au
The 15 most common mistakes people make when attempting to persuade others
1
SHOWING PESSIMISM , OR LACKING ENTHUSIASM AND PASSION If you ’ re going to persuade someone of anything , you ’ d better be enthusiastic about the idea yourself . Excitement is contagious . But if you ’ re flat on an idea that sends a very clear message .
2
APPEARING JUDGEMENTAL OR DISTRUSTFUL Imagine if you were trying to convey an idea to someone only to know you ’ ll be criticised and judged immediately afterwards ? People don ’ t like to be judged . So , instead , try to listen to other people with an open mind . When you are persuading someone it ’ s important they don ’ t feel judged by you . Rather , they need to feel accepted in order to listen to your point of view .
3
BEING TOO SMOOTH While this approach may look good in the movies , it can come across as contrived or insincere in real life . Aim to be as authentic as possible . You ’ ll be your most persuasive self when you plan your message thoroughly and rehearse until you can ’ t get it wrong . Then allow yourself to ad-lib and even add some humour on the day .
58 Executive PA | Summer Issue 2023