DEVELOPMENT
Your confidence is the key to success
Are you a confident person ? Petris Lapis shares her secrets on becoming more confident and how it can help you succeed
THE EXPERT
Petris Lapis has worked in accounting , law , academia , banking , business and training . She has consulted to government and industry and published several books and hundreds of papers . She has studied commerce , law , coaching , NLP and hypnosis . Petris is a rower , a coach and a mum to two teenagers . She loves warm sunny days , great food , laughter , exercise and moments of calm .
I have three questions for you : w What is as closely linked to success as competence ? w Why do some people apply for a job they are only half-qualified for ? w Why do some people underestimate their abilities while others overestimate theirs ?
The answer to these questions is ‘ confidence ’. People who have more confidence get more promotions , ask for bigger pay increases and seek out more opportunities than their equally competent colleagues . But confidence is hard and something that a lot of people aren ’ t born with — often developing your confidence is much harder than learning the specialised skills you need to complete your job . So , how do you do this ?
Fortunately , there are some simple strategies everyone can use to bridge that confidence gap .
1
‘ Good enough ’ is more helpful than perfection . Perfection is an unattainable goal and having worked with perfectionists , it also consumes a lot of time and energy that could have been put to more productive use . When you set the bar at perfectionism , you will not only feel permanently inadequate , but you will also put off doing things you don ’ t believe you can do perfectly ( like that promotion or using the new software ). When you set your bar at ‘ good enough ’, you will still produce high quality output , but you open yourself up to more productive pursuits .
2
Have different conversations with the voice in your head . That voice inside your head is going to keep on doing its thing , but you can change what you do when it pipes up with its judgements , criticism and negativity . I ask myself , ‘ Will acting on this commentary help me achieve what I want or help me to live the life I want ?’ If not , then I thank my mind for the feedback and start taking steps towards the goal I was contemplating anyway . If I keep listening to it , there are days I would never go anywhere . I know the little voice is trying to look out for me and stop me from getting hurt or disappointed . In those moments when it is telling me I won ’ t be able to do something , I tell it to remember Nelson Mandela when he said , ‘ It always seems impossible until it ’ s done .’
3
Don ’ t wait until you feel confident , act confident instead . There are plenty of times I have walked in to teach a workshop and I have not felt confident about how things would turn out , but I kept walking in anyway . Dr Seuss spoke of a ‘ waiting place ’ full of people who were just waiting until the thing they are waiting for turns up . If you are waiting until you feel confident to do something , you may be stuck in the waiting place ( your comfort zone ) a long time . The feeling of confidence usually comes after you have gained skills in an area . The only way to gain those skills is to start . If , for example , you don ’ t want to organise an event because you aren ’ t confident you will do it well , there is only one way to build that confidence and get those skills . Take action and start .
4
Accept that it will feel uncomfortable .
When you step outside your comfort zone and do things to challenge yourself , it feels uncomfortable . That is perfectly normal and a natural human reaction . Instead of putting energy into fighting the feeling or avoiding it , notice it , accept it , give it space , take a couple of deep breaths and keep moving forward . If you are feeling uncomfortable because of fear , see if you can channel the fear into forward moving energy . I rowed with a lady who had represented Australia . I asked her what her strategy was for nerves at the start line . She said , ‘ I push all that nervous energy down into my feet ready for the first push of the race .’ She knew she couldn ’ t stop the discomfort , so she channelled it into a useful source of energy .
There are marvellous opportunities waiting for us all when we leave the waiting place and push ourselves . Sometimes we will succeed and sometimes we won ’ t , but we ’ ll learn a lot along the way — that is the journey of a life lived confidently . S www . petrislapis . com
Issue 1 2021 | Chief of Staff 61