I love food and will eat even when I am full
if there is delicious food around. If I have to
speak at an event or conference, I cannot
eat. My throat closes, my hand’s sweat, my
head feels light. I can’t focus on conversation
around me and usually paste a smile on my
face and nod. No idea what is being said.
When I get up and stand behind the podium,
there has to be a podium, I try to smile, but
my lips are stuck to my teeth. My mouth is
so dry I can barely open it. I hide my lower
body behind the podium, and my feet start tap
dancing, my upper half remains still.
I start my speech, slowly and just keep
talking.
About halfway through I start to loosen up, my
tap dance slows to contemporary ballet, and
my lips move more easily. As I finish, relief
relaxes my shoulders and then the shakes
start.
The first few minutes after I’ve finished, I
shake and can’t even think about taking a
glass of water, unless I want to create a mini
tsunami. It may take about ten minutes before
I calm down fully, then I can enjoy the rest of
the event.
A lot of people can relate to it, but those that
do feel the same don’t believe me when I
say that I am scared to do it because there is
no way they can see themselves up on that
podium, so clearly I am not scared. If I was, I
would not be up there talking.
No, I conquer that fear. Every time. It does
not go away just because I’ve done it once.
It doesn’t even go away after ten times. I do
however get more confident every time, the
shakes may not last as long, and now when I
get up on the podium, I can actually take a sip
of water to help my lips move. The fear is still
there, but I can control it better.
Sometimes you can control your fear by
figuring out why you have the fear. In my
case, I don’t want to be rejected, ridiculed,
laughed at or told I am talking rubbish. I’m
still scared of that, but so far none of that has
happened when I’ve spoken. It’s not likely
to happen either, few people would laugh at
you openly. So if they laugh at me behind my
back, that is ok. I can’t see it.
Just do it. Take one small step today to
conquer your fear. You actually already have,
you’ve read an article about how I do it
anyway, even though I am scared. Have I
conquered my fear? I guess not, it’s still there.
Conquering would mean it would go away, but
maybe in time, it will. All I know is that I am
learning to control my fear, one step at a time.
I’m reading the last paragraph, and on my
desk next to me is an entry form for a dancing
competition. Public performance. I just lost my
appetite.
Conquering my fear…still working on it, but
I printed the form out, so it is one small step
towards just doing it.
34 - Ewya July 2016
The Lotus
Flower
By Carol De Vasconcelos
The Lotus drops its seeds into the darkest
mud. Yet with the first stirrings of re-newed
life, it seeks the light. With intense
determination, it transcends the muck and the
muddy water to burst forth a beautiful flower
born of Spirit. Its soul purpose it to share its
beauty with the world.
Try this exercise this week:
Just take 5 minutes a day to relax and focus
on the brilliant sun shining within you. Relax
into the warmth of your heart and being.
Make the commitment to stop paying attention
to the garbage of the mind and refocus
instead onto your true infinite nature.
It is a much better use of your time. You will
be amazed at what you discover!
So right now gently focus your awareness
onto your heart.
The Sun may be too powerful to visualize in
there at first, so let’s start with imagining that
your heart is a small burning flame of light. It
only takes a candle to light up a dark room.
So let the light from the candle in your heart
radiate throughout your body and reach every
place of darkness inside. Illuminate every
crack and crevice in your body; surround
yourself with an aura of light all day long!
Don’t let this light burn out for at least
4 days! It will grow the longer you can do this
exercise…
As you focus on the flame in your heart and
relax into its light and perfection, breathe!
If your thoughts stray to the old ego channel,
gentle acknowledge this and refocus back on
your light in your heart.
This little flame will remind you that YOU are
Divine and a brilliant being of light at the very
core.
Discover this and turn off you worry channel,
doubt channel, and fear channel! Feel this
little light inside you! You can feel absolutely
light and free just with the smallest of flame
inside.
I invite you to also choose to focus on how
incredible it is to be alive at this time on the
planet.
It is a time when many, many people are
realizing their divine nature.
Namaste Carol
[email protected] or
084-500-1478
Ewya July 2016 - 35