EVOLVE Business and Professional Magazine August 2020 | Page 38

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power
to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
awareness to the emotional roadway and traffic conditions. When
we are not absolutely, clearly aware of our emotions, we remain
susceptible to their undue influence.
When we are absolutely, clearly aware of our emotions in real
time, we can begin to develop the skill of observing them as passing
phenomena, and then making decisions or acting after they subside
and by analyzing them as information to be considered in the
decision process.
THE WISDOM OF EMOTIONS
We can never be the absolutely rational Mr. Spock who can
ignore emotions while calculating the optimal decision. Emotions
are required for humans to make decisions.
A curious thing occurs when the emotional centers of the human
brain are destroyed by injury or disease – we are unable to make
decisions at all.
Researchers asked such patients to make decisions like: “what
time do you want to have coffee tomorrow?” The patients were
unable to decide. They could only recite their schedule for that day.
The goal is not to eliminate emotions or ignore them, but to
integrate them skillfully and not allow them to become the primary
driver of behavior. There is a wisdom of emotions that we must
consider. For example, anger is a boundary emotion. It signals that
something is not of service, and you need to be able to say stop.
Another example is that fear can exist when something is not being
paid enough attention to. It can be a warning sign to take a second
look.
When we recognize our emotions and can listen to what they are
telling us, while at the same time preventing them from becoming
the primary driver of emotions, only then can we begin to utilize
the tools of decision science and mental models to make our best
decisions.
BECOMING SELF-AWARE
What exactly is an emotion? The first step to becoming selfaware
is to recognize that emotions are physical sensations in and
on the body. By paying attention, we can locate different emotions
and identify their associated sensations, including pressure,
tingling, heat, etc. Anger can sometimes come on like a white-hot
flash, whereas sadness may be felt as a weight in the chest.
Becoming self-aware requires us to pay mindful attention to
these physical sensations. Noticing these aspects of our emotions
requires recruitment of our prefrontal cortex, thereby increasing
the role of our rational brain in the moment and decreasing the
influence of our emotional brain.
SELF-MANAGEMENT
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is
our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth
and our freedom.” - Unknown
Self-management requires us to first recognize that we have a
choice to react to or to respond to a stimulus. To react is to allow our
emotions to drive our behavior. To respond is to use our awareness
of our emotions to stay flexible and consciously and thoughtfully
direct our behavior.
For example, public speaking can create a paralyzing fear in
some people that clouds thinking and induces forgetfulness. Selfmanagement
in this scenario is revealed by the ability to tolerate
uncertainty and unpleasant physical sensations so that the rational
brain can regain primacy.
Self-management is more complex than counting to ten. When
we fail to think rationally about our emotions, including how they
are influencing us in the moment, our emotional brain controls us
whether we are aware of it or not. That is the path of reactivity,
where we have little choice in what we say and do, not responseability,
where we proactively select strategies.
Self-management allows us to recognize that a space exists at
all between stimulus and response, and then, with practice, widen
that space to allow for a more skillful approach to decision making.
Art Zimmet is a business lawyer with a business
background at the firm of Chiumento Dwyer
Hertel Grant. He works with clients across the
business lifecycle, from startup business formation
and contracts to acquisitions and succession
planning. When not assisting clients, Art gives
back to the community by serving on the Board
of directors of the Halifax Health Foundation and
SMA Healthcare Foundation.
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