Estate Living Magazine Alfresco Living - Issue 36 December 2018 | Page 43

as change becomes more difficult to accept the older we get.
Have those difficult conversations over a braai or family dinner,
keep it light and conversational (as against confrontational) and
have them many years before they are necessary. This will allow
the seed to be sown and make the follow-up conversations a lot
easier.
Open communication
It is crucial to keep the lines of communication open, to allow
input and comment from all members of the family – especially
our parents. There will be negative comments; allow for them
and counter them with kindness and understanding, being
encouraging rather than disparaging. Find out what’s important
to them … being close to friends and family members? Staying
in the same area where driving is familiar? Or perhaps a move
to the coast for a warmer climate? Discuss the options and take
time to visit a variety of retirement estates and accommodations
both near and far – the more you see, the easier it will be to make
the final decision.
Include the whole family
There is nothing worse for a sibling than to feel excluded in the
decision-making process around one’s parents. Yes, it might be
appropriate for the family member that is closest location-wise
to have the loudest say, but never to the detriment of the others.
Currently many families are spread across the globe, but with
technology and the ease of communication that is no excuse.
WhatsApp photos and videos are just so easy to send, and Skype
calls make joint conversations a breeze!
Consider all the options
Several families are choosing to combine their assets and have
their parents move into a ‘granny flat’ on their property. While
this seems to be a win-win scenario for all, it is not without its
complications. It might be ideal when in-house baby-sitters
and child minders are required, but along with that comes the
potential of meddling and interference, and then what happens
when said parents have ‘outgrown’ the capabilities of the granny
flat? When health issues dictate a change of scene, a second
move then becomes inevitable and considerably more stressful,
especially as it will be even later in life. Surely it’s better to look for
a long-term solution right from the start?
estate-living.co.za
| 41