M E D I C A L S P EC I A LT I ES
by their
C O F F E E O R D E R
As you walk into your local costa (screw starbucks, their coffee tastes like
dirt and they don’t pay tax) you barista is already scrutinizing you, and
o n c e y o u o r d e r , t h e y ’ r e j u d g i n g y o u e v e n h a r d e r. Y o u r c h o i c e o f b e v e r a g e
says more about you then your CV and each drink can be associated with a
medical specialty I reckon…
MEGAN RIGBY
4TH YEAR
ANAESTHETISTS- LARGE BLACK
COFFEE
Sitting for hours and hours in front of
a seemingly undecipherable screen
calls for a large black coffee (do they
do extra large?). attempting to remain
awake during those unbearably long
surgeries requires a constant supply
of caffeine and you don’t like to
mess about. The thought of having
to communicate with a patient is
almost as terrifying as the thought
of performing your job without
caffeine, so you’ll make sure that
patient stays asleep until they’re
s o m e o n e e l s e ’s r e s p o n s i b i l i t y.
PAEDIATRICS- DOUBLE ESPRESSO
Forever surrouned by uncommunicative
kids, you are quickly sapped of any energy
you may have attained during your 5 hour
sleep last night. That level of fatigue,
paired with your lack of time means that
a double espresso is the perfect drink to
have you bouncing off the walls again and
ready to chat peppa pig and paw patrol
with the over enthusiastic children who
probably aren’t as ill as their parents
suspect.
EMERGENCY MED - ICED LATTE
After resuscitating the third patient of the
day and now being told you’ve got to switch
to minors, you’ll probably need more than
caffeine to provide you with the will to live.
Yo u ’ l l o p t f o r a n i c e d l a t t e b e c a u s e b y t h e t i m e
y o u ’d g e t a r o u n d t o a h o t o n e , i t w o u l d b e
c o l d a n y w a y, s o y o u m a y a s w e l l p r e t e n d t h a t
was the plan. From cardiac arrests to poorly
pinky fingers, you never have time to stop but
you thrive on the complete mayhem that is the
emergency department.
GP - GOOD OL' CUPPA
Somebody get this doctor a cuppa. After
seeing your 7th sore throat of the day
you’re already losing the will to live and
you’re not sure whether this woman with
a headache has a brain tumour or is just
another patient trying to get a sick note.
Thankfully the receptionists are fuelling
you with copious mugs of tea, nothing
fancy because the budget doesn’t stretch
t h a t f a r a n d t h e r e ’s n o t i m e fo r l u n c h
so you might be lucky and get a cheeky
biscuit on the side.
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DERMATOLOGY
Swanning around with a coffee in hand
a n d a s u s p i c i o u s l y f r e s h l o o k i n g f a c e , i t ’s
as if dermatologists have experienced
something most doctors believe to be
a myth – a full nights sleep. A life free
from on calls and night shifts means you
have plenty of time to reel off your basic
coffee order and wait patiently as baristas
craft your single shot decaf sugar free
caramel coconut latte with cream. As you
strut through the corridors to look at yet
another red rash (probably sunburn), you
know you’ve made the sensible choice.
ORTHOPAEDICS -
HOT CHOCOLATE
CARDIOLOGY- FLAT WHITE
Yo u l o v e p l a y i n g G o d a n d v i e w y o u r s e l f
as superior to the mere mortals who fill
i n t h e o t h e r i n t e r n a l m e d i c i n e r o l e s . Yo u
enjoy marching around with your flat white
to cement your ‘fancy’ status, despite the
f a c t y o u a c t u a l l y h a v e n o i d e a h o w i t ’s
different to a regular coffee and probably
just stir 5 sugars in, ruining the beautiful
l a t t e a r t a n y w a y.
PLASTICS - GREEN TEA
I t ’s a l l a b o u t t h e a e s t h e t i c s d a r l i n g , a n d
that starts with looking after your in-
sides. So you resort to a simple green
tea to cleanse away all the negativity
a n d a l l t h e t o x i n s f r o m y o u r b o d y. Yo u
need to make sure you’re looking your
best because you know the truth about
plastics and would never want to have to
ask one of your colleagues to operate on
you…
So someone decided that it was a
good idea to give a bunch of mon-
keys some hammers and saws and
i t ’s t h i s w h i c h g a v e b i r t h t o o u r
b e l o v e d o r t h o p o d s . Yo u ’ v e n e v e r
really grown up and loved lego as
a kid because breaking things down
and building them back up was your
jam. The humble hot chocolate is
y o u r b e v e r a g e o f c h o i c e . Yo u r c h i l d -
ish palate can’t cope with the bit-
ter taste of coffee and you’re not
ashamed.
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