I awoke to the sounds of sirens, flashing lights, and yelling. The deer was still alive next to me, wheezing and shivering in the cold. It's breaths were slow and smelled of dogwood, blueberries, and wheat. The car smelled horrible, it was an iron smell mixed with sweat and burning rubber. There was a cold drip from the top of my head that snaked its way down to my mouth. I gingerly touched my head, wincing every time I touched my open wound. A throbbing pain from my legs made me look down. The antler of the deer snapped off and was logged into my upper thigh, making me unable to move my legs without having a searing pain rush up my body making me dizzy and have vertigo. The wet slosh of footsteps on mud neared the truck but I couldn't see because of my double vision and blood soaked hair covering my eyes. There was a silhouette of a man standing in front me, saying something but I couldn't make out what the words were, my ears were ringing and my head was throbbing. I don't remember what happened after because I blacked out again and woke up inside the emergency room sore and hurting more than before. My father was sitting next to me, holding a small styrofoam cup with water, never breaking eye contact from the TV which was playing reruns of Bonanza and The Price is Right. He looked over to me after taking a sip of water when Bob Barker sent the show to commercial. His eyes were bloodshot and covered with a watery glaze over them. He hadn’t shaved in some time, his salt and pepper whiskers were growing in. He smelled of alcohol and cigarettes. A small tear formed on the corner of his eye and rolled down past his mouth and rested on the tip of his chin. It hung there, moving to my father's movements. The tear was an acrobat, hanging over the edge of death. He wiped it away and grabbed my hand, “I’m so sorry son. I never wanted to do this to you. I never meant for this to happen t-t-to…” He turned away. I was fourteen at the time, I didn’t know how to respond, I didn’t know what possessed me to do such a thing, I didn’t know why my father didn’t kill me right then and there for doing what I had done.