51
Day 2 . Life is turned upside down ( continued )
SAID ALOUD
Aim . To clarify the nature and expression of trauma .
Trainer . The story continues .
Some hours must have passed before two men from the village found the Butterfly Woman , wounded on the river bank . The sand was red with her blood and the Woman stared at them with glassy eyes , unable to utter a word . Instead of helping her home , the men were so frightened by the sight that they ran off into the bush .
PART II : THE TRAINING
The Woman felt extremely weak . She asked herself : “ Am I already dead ?” She noticed that blood covered her yellow dress , and that the dress was torn into pieces . She noticed the sound of the river and wondered whether she was in an unknown place . The river sounded hostile . Her heart beat rapidly in her chest . Would the soldiers come back ? Her body felt numb . She had no strength to move . Her arms and legs were like dead meat . Her body ached and yet there were no feelings left .
The Trainer displays Figure 3 : The Butterfly Woman immediately after the trauma .
That night the Woman was left alone . Her husband asked her to leave ! The elders said she should not come back ! The children were crying . She had to depart .
She wandered off into the forest , away from the river . Around her , the trees became dark and hostile . She felt fragile , weak , like the living dead . Her feet could barely carry her . They felt numb . Her hands were like the hands of a stranger . No smile in her heart , only darkness . Her body felt cold and silent , as if she was not living there anymore , or as if her soul was hiding far away in a corner of her shivering heart .
She could not rest . She saw the soldiers eyes , heard their laughter , their breathing and their words . Their smell filled her lungs . She was sweating , crying in rage and despair . She could not find shelter and scanned the green hillsides all the time for soldiers . All her dreams and wishes evaporated . Her mind became invaded by worry and she had difficult , strange thoughts about herself . Was she going mad ? She felt shame and rage and deep sorrow at the same time .
Trainer . The story of the Butterfly Woman can help a survivor to understand her own behaviour , because her experiences are reflected in the story . This can empower her and lessen her shame . In many cultures it is a great taboo for a woman to say she has been raped . When a survivor talks about the Butterfly Woman , she is not obliged to speak about herself but can communicate her experience indirectly . The Butterfly Woman ’ s story becomes the metaphor through which she can communicate , something that carries the heavy burden of the survivor ’ s rape in a safe and dignified way . For both helper and survivor , it gives them distance and some kind of freedom , enabling them to speak to one another about what is otherwise unspeakable or overwhelming .