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Day 2. Life is turned upside down( continued)
SAID ALOUD
Trainer. The story continues...
Before, she carried her most important memories and longings in her wings. Now, they frightened her deeply. She tried to distance herself from them. She used all her energy not to think and not to feel. Her husband’ s words poured into her right ear.“ You cannot stay. You are a sick, crazy person – dirty, and dangerous for me. I do not want you here. Go away!” She wandered far from the river, stumbling and falling. She walked as if she was asleep, leaving her children behind. She had no tears left. The ache in her womb was intense, but she scarcely felt it.
PART II: THE TRAINING
Trainer. This is the story so far. It includes the horrible rape that the Butterfly Woman experienced. Before we go on, we will take a short break, to relax and stretch. Then we will come back, to do some exercises and see what happens next, because this story will become a healing story.
But first, I must underline that, when you tell this story to survivors, never include horrible details of the traumatic event. The details of the rape may waken a survivor’ s trauma-memories. If this occurs, a victimised woman will not be able to listen any more. She will re-live her own experience and lose the feeling of safety that she had when she sat with you.
Instead, you can say things like:“ Terrible things happened to the Butterfly Woman, which changed her life”. Or“ Things happened by the river that darkened her life”, etc. The woman will understand what her helper is saying and will feel safe. She will trust you when she notices that you do not scare her. She will be able to think clearly and to understand what the story is describing, and will understand that you are telling the story( which is her own story) in a safe way. One can also ask a survivor to say how the rape should be named so that it will be tolerable for her.
Exercise 6. Exploring different trauma reactions.( 15 minutes.)
EXERCISE
Try to feel the different forms of reaction.
• Go into“ freeze mode”. Tighten all your muscles. Stand still and feel the tension in your body.
• Go into“ fight mode”. Make your body ready to fight. Tighten your muscles and activate your aggression.
Feel the differences in these two states.
Try also to experience different and opposite feelings. Be happy and grieving, depressed and elated, angry and calm, etc.
Copy the Trainer and use your own ideas. Try to show your state of mind with your body. This exercise will help you to observe such reactions in a survivor.
BREAK 15-20 MINUTES.