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9 . Use of the Butterfly Woman as a metaphor
9 . Use of the Butterfly Woman as a metaphor
Aim . To understand how the Butterfly Woman metaphor can create insights and help the healing process .
In the last section , we explained how we can use metaphor to help deal with trauma . In this section we explain how the Butterfly Woman metaphor came into being and how we will use the story in our work .
PART I : POINTS OF DEPARTURE
The Butterfly that could not fly . Note from a therapist .
“ A traumatised woman entered my office for therapy . She talked in a low voice . ‘ When I look back I see only the terrible things that happened to me , day and night it visits me . When I look into the future I only see worries and problems . I see no hope . My life has become a dark place . My body is numb , I am alone and I find no rest . Am I going insane ?’
After she left , I wondered : ‘ How can I , as a helper , explain healing of trauma to this woman ? How can I show her that her reactions are normal responses to an abnormal experience ? That she is a survivor . How can I bring hope and dignity into her darkened life ?’
I drew what she had told me on a sheet of paper in front of me . The trauma-memories were on one side and she was squeezed between The Past and the huge problems of The Future . I had drawn a butterfly ! There she was , the butterfly woman that couldn ’ t fly ! I used this metaphor to explain the woman ’ s healing process .
This metaphor gave the woman the distance she needed to talk about her symptoms without wakening the trauma . The Butterfly Woman made it possible to talk about the impossible . We could share her experiences , and I could show her a way forward .
We talked and practiced how to restore wings , strengthen and ground the body , her thoughts , feelings and heart . We found resources that made life worth living again . And that journey is what this manual is all about .
Butterflies are meant to fly , freely and in their own way . Just as women should be free to live their own meaning in peace and dignity .”
Based on this incident , we developed the Butterfly Woman metaphor as a tool for working with individuals traumatised by severe violence . The metaphor allows us to talk about very difficult themes in a different way ; it creates room for thoughts and new reflections and may sometimes symbolise hope . When we draw the butterfly , her wings symbolise the past and the future . Between the ‘ wings ’ is a narrow space that represents the ‘ here and now ’. Through the help she is given , the Butterfly Woman gradually feels that she can be more ‘ here and now ’ and more able to control her life . She may also gradually be able to reconnect with her resources , symbolised by her ‘ antennae ’, which she stretches out to reach good memories from her past and her hopes for the future . Step by step she can restore her wings and create conditions in which eventually she can fly again .