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PART III: THEORY
7. Returning to the community
( See Preparing to return to the community and Preparing a survivor to reunite with her family and social network in Part II, pages 110-111 and 112-113.)
Several issues arise when survivors wish to return to their community or family. First of all, many are unable to do so because they have been thrown out by their husbands or family or remain at risk from a violent relationship, or because their relatives have disappeared or been displaced by conflict. Women survivors may have too few resources to survive on their own. Other issues include how to empower women when they return, how to take care of their children, and how to evaluate the risks they face.
A helper can feel frustrated when, after recovering in the health centre, a woman decides to return to a violent relationship or to an environment in which she is likely to be raped again. Helpers can feel that all their work with the survivor was for nothing, while they must worry anew about her safety and that of her children. In fact, it is inappropriate to criticise or in any way challenge the survivor’ s choices. Breaking out of a violent situation is often a long process, and it is important that women who are at risk take decisions in their own best interest and feel responsible for them. The helper’ s role is to assist and help them in that process.
When a woman cannot go home to her family or community, it is always especially difficult to assist her to earn an income for herself. Women survivors are in great need of opportunities to work, as well as skills. Wherever possible, organisations should cooperate to provide survivors with starter packs and support that help them to make a living outside the health centres.
How can you prepare a survivor for life in her old community or in a new one?
Discuss with her how she can mobilise a support network. Encourage survivors to put in words their goals and hopes for the future. Help them to identify their personal strengths, and talk about how they can use these to reach their goals.
Do not establish goals for the survivor based on your definition of‘ what’ s best’. Discuss whether there are good alternatives, and talk about the importance of even small steps. Help the survivor to believe that she can regain control over her life.
Help the survivor to recognise that caring for her own safety is important. Do a risk analysis. Will she be safe when she returns home? If possible involve local organisations which provide medical advice, shelter or other services that assist survivors to move, settle into new homes and make friends. Be attentive to the survivor’ s fears. Help her foresee dangers and plan for her safety.