Many kilometres separate Brazil and Sweden. But a young Brazilian family decided to jump the geographical and cultural distance between them to embark on an adventure that is still being written.
Reading time: 7 min
It was four years since the Canarinha [a nickname for the Brazil national football team] won the World Cup on Korean soil. It was, no more and no less, the fifth World Cup won by the Brazilian national team. Maybe that’s why, every time I put on my boots to play football, I felt a special emotion, like a kind of tingling in my stomach. That day, almost twenty years ago now, it happened to me again, although that match was far from being an international competition: it was a game with friends, on one of the many pitches in São Paulo. I had been invited by Augusto, the brother of my then girlfriend Cristina, and right from the start I was struck by the atmosphere. I lost that game, but I went home with a taste of victory. I realised that I was not going to dedicate myself to professional football – which was not at all surprising, as I already knew this before the kick-off – but I had now discovered a group of people with a different way of life.
I had played football all my life, but that meeting was different. Their good humour and respect for each other caught my attention. Moreover, meeting so many people all at once, who prayed and talked about God without reserve, broke down all the prejudices I had carried with me since I was a teenager. Little by little I became interested in the faith. I spent the last years of my degree as a resident at the Itaim Cultural Centre and in May 2008 I asked for admission to the Work as a supernumerary.
This was all Cristina’s “fault”. Although I grew up in a Catholic environment, when I was twelve years old my parents separated and we stopped attending Mass on Sundays. When I was an engineering student at the University of São Paulo, I decided to do an exchange year in London, and there I met Cristina. It was 2005. We were both studying the same degree at the same university, and we were on a similar exchange programme.
Some time later we got married and began the project of the family adventure that I want to tell you about in these lines. At the end of 2011 we already had a nine-month-old daughter, two good jobs and a half-built house. Everything seemed to be on track and we were dreaming of the family we wanted to have. Then our life took a turn: we were asked to go to Sweden to help with the apostolic work with families in that country, working together with other supernumeraries there.
To give you an idea of how ignorant we were about the challenges ahead, at that time I could hardly distinguish Sweden from Switzerland, two words that sound very similar in Portuguese. Despite the natural insecurity we initially had, we were convinced that God would give us whatever we lacked. We also thought about the privilege of being involved in this divine project. And so, after much discussion and prayer, we decided to embark on this adventure.
We sold the house and I started the process of obtaining Italian nationality, which I was to acquire because of the origin of my ancestors. We also started a basic Swedish course and got used to the abundance of consonants and umlauts. I thought that the best way to adapt to our new country and understand more of its culture would be through studies. In the summer of 2013 I arrived alone in Stockholm to start a master’s degree at the Stockholm School of Economics. The city made a great impression on me and I was captivated by its landscape, very different from that of Brazil.
I found a temporary flat in Nacka, an urban area of Stockholm, and two months later my wife arrived with our children: Mariana, two years old, and Filip, barely six months old. The first months together in Stockholm were incredibly intense and memorable. We attended Mass in the mornings and in the afternoons Cristina, while looking after the children, studied to be able, the following year, to enter the same programme I was studying.
We had heard that, after Spain, Sweden was the country most visited by Blessed Alvaro, so he became our intercessor from the beginning. In countless difficulties we could feel the special help of God’s grace. For example, we were dependent on obtaining Italian citizenship in order to continue living in Sweden, since studies were free for European citizens and our already meagre savings were running out. We set a deadline: if the Italian citizenship did not come through before the day we had set ourselves, we would return to Brazil. Once again, Blessed Alvaro was there to lend us a hand and obtain this favour for us.
One of the biggest challenges was living in such a different culture and getting used to the local ways. Here, people are more methodical, they tend to invite people in advance, offer more than one date, and visitors usually stay for up to two hours at the hosts’ house.
At first it was a little difficult for me to make friends at that slow pace – compared to what I was used to – but gradually I realised that with patience and dedication it is more than possible to grow in friendship. A lovely tradition at work is the fika, a break for coffee and chat at 9:00 and 14:30. One piece of advice I was given when I started working was always to attend, both in the morning and in the afternoon. It is a great opportunity to get to know my colleagues, their hobbies, their family and their projects.
When we moved to Sweden, there was already a group of parents pushing for the creation of a preschool, where we have had our children since its foundation in 2015. We were able to help out in organising talks for parents and family activities, which allowed us to meet many families with whom we still keep in touch. Here I have discovered how the apostolate develops very naturally. The simple fact of having a family with so many children gives rise to many conversations and some have, over time, formed their own large family.
My wife finds herself in similar situations. After taking a few days off to go on a retreat, she returned to work and a colleague asked her where she had been. She then explained the retreat to her, and her friend concluded that maybe that was the reason why she was able to look after five children and come to work so well prepared.
The example of our children is also a great apostolate. To cite a case in point: one day the parish priest called the children after Mass to give them some sweets. Thomas went ahead to ask for some for his absent siblings, but the priest only gave him his and two more. Without complaining, he commented in the car that the priest had misheard him, but that it didn’t matter because he could divide his with Mariana. Mariana interrupted him, and said that she didn’t really like that sweet and that she was giving all of hers to Thomas.
I see more and more clearly the great work that can be done through the family. Last November was my fortieth birthday. That day I went to the centre for the circle and when I finished I found a surprise party to which several of my friends had been invited. Even some who had never been to the centre and parents of my children’s friends were there. This allowed them to get to know the centre through something as simple as a family celebration.
In fact, I see that the best apostolate we have in our hands is precisely the friendship with families, doing the things that are part of our daily life, such as skating on the ice rink after Sunday Mass or organising pilgrimages and lunches with several families.
Two years ago we moved to the south of Stockholm and now our children are in one of the three Catholic schools in Sweden. After Mariana and Filip, come Thomas, Niklas and Theresa who were born here in Sweden. My children were always waiting for a second daughter, who never seemed to come, but I am writing these lines with my newborn daughter Theresa. So there are now seven of us in the family.
One always makes ambitious plans for one’s life and for one’s family, but God surprises us with plans that are even more ambitious. I look back, and I see God’s hand at every stage of my life, guiding me without my being aware of it, as I do myself when I help my children on their tiny bicycles. There are stumbles and steep climbs, but.... How much one enjoys the breeze in one’s face and the taste of adventure!