One Tough Muther by Karen Lynn
Described as Dear Abby on Steroids
OTM,
My question is about friendship. A "friend" of mine that i have known for around 4 years, who i thought i had a strong bond with never includes me on anything. And it has pretty much been that way our whole friendship. We have children that are so close in age that you would think play dates and get togethers would be happening but we have only ever gotten together a few times a year, and only once this past year. Our friendship seems to consist of gossip and phone calls, yet shes 10 minutes away from me and when something juicey happens , boy you can bet she's calling me up to hear what i know. We've planned to get together but almost always it falls through. Then i see her posts online of her outings with other friends.And i become the jealous friend, and feel hurt. I'm at a point in my life where i feel like it is time to let this friend go and not put any more effort into it. I know she will end up calling me one day anyway and i'll remember how we connect but i just feel like i dont want to be bothered because a friend to me is someone who makes time to see you, it feels so one sided at times. I'm not sure this is a question but what is your take?
Dear Friend,
I completely understand. It is unfair when a friendship is so one sided.
I can certainly understand your hurt when you are constantly the one who steps forward, unless of course there is a juicy bit of gossip in the air.
In my opinion, this "friend" for lack of a better title, is not a friend at all.
Her selfish actions lead me to believe she is the kind of person who sets terms to any relationship and those terms are always hers.
I say get out there and meet new people.
This woman obviously is not interested in doing more than she has to in a friendship and doesn't really know the meaning of the word, friend.
Mark my words, it is not just you. I bet she is this way with all of her friends. Muther has seen her kind before.
Time to move past her one sided circle.
But be careful, once you've moved on without her, she will want attention again. Beware not to fall into this trap again. Remember, her friendship is one sided and a real friendship takes two.
Hugs,
~OTM
One Tough Muther
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