A recent Gallop poll reported that Americans believe one in four is either gay or bisexual. Even if that estimate is high, consider how many attempt to covertly blend into a society that doesn’t consider them equal and, in doing so, they live in fear of rejection from loved ones as Karin has for years. Forced by dread and a desire to please, Karin lied to most everyone about her sexuality—a core human nature. This masquerade nearly destroyed her self-image and confidence. The questions, “Am I needed?” and “Am I loved?” were themes to daily life as a closeted lesbian. Her health and energy declined as did her confidence.
Joseph Winn, Licensed Clinical Social Worker who specializes in gay and transgender therapy, believes “many people remain in the closet because they fear, sometimes realistically, that they will be rejected by their loved ones and are [even] at risk for physical violence.” Though this may not be the case for the majority of secluded gays, it certainly is a valid concern for many. Karin did not share any instances of violence, but she did experience an overwhelming weight on her spirit that caused extreme loneliness and despair—thought-provoking evidence that denying our truth and authentic selves, as Winn also concedes “…is incredibly damaging to one’s overall psychological health.” He also believes that coming out is a positive step to better health and self-esteem.
Despair, low self-image and many other intense emotions such as those experienced by living an unauthentic life can cause mental and physical illness, as believed by world-renowned author, speaker, and holistic practitioner, Dr. Bradley Nelson. "Our thoughts are powerful, and what we think and feel is what we create," he says in his book, The Emotion Code. Nelson has spent his career helping others, from all walks of life, release emotions trapped by intense past experiences and believes anyone will be healthier and happier once emotional baggage is removed. “If you do not like where your story is headed, REWRITE a few pages.” Like Dr. Nelson,
Karin encourages others to make changes if they are struggling to find peace and identity. “We are not at the end of the book yet"
It is also easy to see how society, the media, and even churches can hinder this type of transition to living a truthful, fulfilling life. Winn shares how some “conservative communities and religious groups teach that being gay, lesbian or bisexual is a sign of mental illness, immorality and deserving of punishment and ostracism.” The result of this cruelty is a growing population of not only women but men, teens, and even children with distorted interpretations of love, equality, and spiritual premise.
Interestingly, we see this extreme opposition to being different among some modern religious groups, even though The Buddha, Jesus, and Mohammed all stood for love, truth, justice, and hope for all mankind—the essence of humanity and divinity alike. From any stand point, to claim spiritual roots that suggest we are unique beings created by a perfect (perfectly loving) God who makes no mistakes, and to then blatantly display conflicting behavior that mocks that creation could be considered equitably insane. And, if this conduct is common place, it is fathomable why many people-not just gays— are forsaking formal religious institutions in order to be themselves and embrace loving and comforting spiritual concepts. If a woman loves another woman, wants out of an unhappy marriage, desires to change her spiritual beliefs, or pursue a unique dream, she has a human right to do so and should not be hindered by the rigid and controlling statutes of another.