N
ow that you’ve established the body language cues and verbals that
are normal for you (and how you can adjust them to change your
message), you can move on to “norming” or “baselining” others in
an effort to detect when they move from an agreeable state to one
that will keep you from your goals. Start by interacting casually, asking questions that are
inconsequential (think weather, sports, and entertainment). Take mental notes of how he
or she behaves while in this agreeable, neutral state.
Here are some areas on which to focus:
Handshake: How
does he normally
shake your hand?
Firmly or weakly?
What’s the thumb
position? The hand
placement?
Truth Clues: Does
he look to the
right or left when
telling the truth?
Does he normally
scratch his nose
when answering
questions?
Posture: In a
Gestures: Are his
Eye Contact:
Facial
Expression:
Body
Orientation:
Voice: What
Does she usually
hold your gaze
while talking with
you? Does she
look upward or
downward during
eye contact?
Does her face
usually appear
happy, sad, or
introspective when
at rest?
relaxed situation,
does he stand
and sit tall or does
he slouch? Does
he cross his legs?
How?
Is this person
accustomed to
standing with her
torso squarely
pointed in your
direction? How
about her feet? Do
they point toward
you or toward the
door?
hand movements
generally high
(chest level),
middle (torso
level), or low (waist
level)?
are her normal
tempo, volume,
tone, and pitch?
How many speech
disturbances
are normal for
her? Is she longwinded or abrupt
when answering
questions?
Once you have baselined a person using the above questions, you’ll be ready to take
notice to any actions and words that are contrary to his or her normal, relaxed behavior.
If body language and verbal