So many days I’ve wrestled with indecision,
sinful lusts, figuring how to get more of what
I want. Even a few spent arguing a point I
knew was wrong, permitting my flesh to fight
to justify its actions. Are these works proving
my faith is true? No. All of that just bogs me
down, like trying to walk forward with mud
up to my knees. But I’m not condemning myself or even berating myself over it, I’m just
coming to the point. And here, as I rolled into
my driveway, the question bubbled to the
top: how many more days will I allow to be
squandered wrestling with questions borne
of my flesh’s attempts to obtain its desires?
The looming career decision that will impact
my time and my family--why is that difficult
to make? Because down one path waits
prestige, recognition, money, professional
relevance and admiration, all goals my dying sinful nature longs for, but they carry the
price tag of giving up time with those I say
are the most important people in my life.
Does my saying this make it true?
I look again at James2:16 - 17: “If a brother
or sister is without clothing and in need of
daily food, and one of you says to them, ‘Go in
peace, be warmed and be filled,’ and yet you
do not give them what is necessary for their
body, what use is that? Even so faith, if it has
no works, is dead, being by itself.”
It’s pretty clear, isn’t it? Exasperatingly so. I
can think my family is second only to God
Himself, tell others this is true, even write the
same, but only living it means anything. The
rest is chaff, dust, garbage. Worthless.
What will I do today?`
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