ne of the most disheartening tendencies among women in general is a propensity to
compare ourselves among ourselves. Why do we
do this? Are we competing for something? And
if we are competing for something - what is it?
Surely it can’t be something good.
“Wow, she’s really let herself go,” we may hear
said. Or we constantly size up another woman
before we even get a chance to know her. For
instance, we size up the other woman’s apparel,
trendy or tawdry; or whether or not her make-up
is over-done, or under-done. (Is she purposely
trying to look like a plain Jane?) Is she fatter than
me, or skinnier than me; is she perkier than me,
or is she too shy? Is she aging too fast, or is she
aging too slow? Or, we may think she should
lose the hat, it looks ridiculous. Or the scarf she’s
wearing makes her look like a refugee. Or what
about those outrageous inch-long aqua fingernails. Really? Or, she wears her piety too much
on her sleeve, and is a kill-joy. Or, she’s too good
looking for her own good - watch out for that
one.
Usually these sort of assessments are on an
unconscious level, but nevertheless they set the
tone for either forming a connection with another woman or staying aloof.
I think however, we do ourselves and
every woman a disservice when we fail
to get past these kind of superficialities.
These knee-jerk reactions belie some basic insecurity as women. Men don’t seem so obsessive
over outward appearances amongst themselves.
But worse than these sort of physical compari-
sons is when our insecurities carry over to our
spiritual assessment of ourselves as opposed to
others.
I call this pitfall the “comparison rut”. It is a destructive ploy, used by the devil to keep our eyes
off the Lord and onto people. Granted, there is
nothing wrong with looking up to, or wanting to
emulate great Christians, but if you’ve ever felt
defeated or less of a Christian woman because
your spiritual progress hasn’t catapulted as fast
as somebody else’s, or you don’t feel like you’ll
ever measure up to another Christian -
it’s time to take a serious look at what
you are telling yourself and why.
If, on the other hand, you are blessed with an
overriding confidence, along with an astounding
and dynamic personal testimony, be sure God
gets all the glory. When you tell your story, nothing should be said in a way that will encourage
comparisons by others, but only told in a way
that will humbly point others to Jesus. We are
called to be a fingerpost pointing to Jesus, not
ourselves.
A solid hope in Christ is b